2015-12-22 - 1:12 a.m.

Today was kind of a shitty day. I'm starting to get concerned with the fact that I only have shitty things to report lately. In truth, things are getting better. Clarity is a far ways off, for me. I am just realizing that I have a huge process of healing and restoration to go through. When I first had that thought, that I needed healing and restoration, it seemed laughable. Like, what in the world would I need to heal and restore from. But, it's true. I see it as the weeks go on, as the months go on. I don't feel as though I am unfixable. I just need some space. I need some thinking room. THAT is very clear to me.

Anyway. I had appointments today. Today was actually a big day. I went to sleep late last night and was distressed about it all night because I needed to be up for an appointment. So I slept really badly and pressed snooze for way too long and had to jump up and get dressed immediately without even having a cup of tea. I ran to my car was dead. But!!! I am a lucky and indulgent (for the moment) person! I have a SECOND car!! So I immediately shifted my stuff to the Honda...and...ANOTHER dead car!! Really! It was unbelievable. So I had to cancel the appointment (they got me in this afternoon so, no worries, but I still hate canceling appointments). BOTH batteries were dead. Incredible. Weird and incredible.

The day turned out okay-ish, though. I didn't get anything done that I wanted to, but I did manage to get a new pair of glasses ordered. Of course, in the last week of the year. I actually feel good that I had eight days to spare, for once. I also ran an errand for a friend which involved going onto a college campus and going about some student affairs. Just being on the campus and participating in this one really pedestrian operation, made me wildly excited about the prospect of going back to school VERY SOON. Please, just let me find a motivating career path in the next moments. I know I can start school without a career path...but it sure would be nice to have something certain in my future. I want to work from home as much as possible, whatever it is I end up doing.

The opossum is still living in the garage. We've worked out a pretty good routine. I clean up his poop every day (he poops right next to where he eats! What? Who does that?) and I change his bedding in both his beds once a week. He gets a really balanced diet with enough calcium for his bones which is really important and some fruit and avocado which appear to be his (or her) favorite. The door is open, friends. He (or she) is not a hostage. This opossum likes it's situation and isn't leaving. Actually, when it gets over sixty degrees he leaves. But he's right back in his house when it gets below that. He has a mangled foot. I got a good look at it a couple weeks ago when he was sleeping upside down during the day. He's safe right now but if I move I'm going to have to take the opossum with me or find a rescue for him.

My cat, Ernest, has been pulling disappearing acts. I just ordered a GPS tracker for him. Asshole. I have no idea what he's doing. Since he moved in here five years ago, he's been the most reliable cat I have. All you had to do was go out and call for him and he would appear. This past summer he started not showing up AT ALL. FOR DAYS. I thought that behavior would stop once it got cold. But it continues. I'm almost certain he's not going to another house because he comes home dirty and skinny and then sleeps for two days straight. This can't go on.

Work is fine. It sucks, but it's fine.

That is all.


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