2007-10-08 - 1:58 p.m.

I've been rather obsessed with finding Jesus for the past five days.

Pause. Pause. Pause.

You see. I had a spider. He lived in our lampshade and he caught a good many insects inside that lampshade. He lived there for months and months and before the lampshade he had been living between ceiling beams until one night when a bat crashed through his web. That was when he moved to the lampshade. Anyway. I spent a lot of time with this spider because he was so cool. He kept getting bigger and bigger and he never bothered us. He just stayed in his lampshade and from time to time molted his legs and I would take them away and save them like a mother saving baby teeth. I was proud of my spider. One day Eric was looking at him (it was our habit to look in the lampshade every time we walked by it) and said, "do you have a name for the spider?" and I replied, "no, I don't, but I guess we could call him Jesus because that's what I say every time I look at him." And so that's what we called him. Jesus. The spider. I became very attached to him. Because I am like that. Mostly I was just in awe of him. I loved to watch him rebuild his web.

So a week or so ago I walked downstairs in the morning and it was pitch black. Which meant that the lightbulb in the lamp where Jesus lived had died. (after we were robbed we had to start keeping all the windows completely blocked by the big shutters at night. So if we don't keep a light on you can't see anything when you walk downstairs in the morning.) I immediately panicked because as much as I love Jesus...walking through a pitch black room is kinda scary when you know there is a giant spider living in there. So I walked as fast as I could to the nearest window and threw open the shutters and then I could see and just as I looked at the lamp I saw Jesus starting his decent towards the floor. Presumably to leave for greener pastures. I moved quickly and caught him in a glass and took him outside. Because I would have had to catch him anyway before we moved. I couldn't leave him in the house, someone would kill him. I had wanted to keep him around for a while longer...have a ceremonious Jesus know? I didn't want it to go like that.

Anyway, Jesus is now outside, somewhere. And I've been wandering aimlessly around the yard hoping to catch a glimpse of his magnificent web somewhere in the tree branches. But so far I've just encountered hundreds of tiny spiders and one gargantuan spider (who lives in the palm tree). I miss Jesus.

Here is a picture. Wish him well.

This is Jesus the spider


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