2005-08-21 - 10:54 a.m.

There’s that classic story about the time Eric and I were going to Scotland and I was talking to his friend Remi, who is French, about it at a party one night. He had been telling me how beautiful it is there and how sometimes, in certain parts, you can be driving along and you could think you are on the moon for how quiet and uninhabited the rather lunar looking landscape (in certain parts) is. And then he says, “But you always have to look out for the ship. There are ships everywhere in the road.”

And I say, “Ships? What ships?”

“You know, SHIP,” he tells me again and we go round like that for a minute until he points to a SHEEP in one of his pictures. So from then on I have called sheep ship.

Last week when Remi was here for a visit he was sitting outside and he said, “Do you always have so much hair?” And somehow, maybe because he had his head tilted upwards and he was gesturing towards the wind, I figured out that he was asking if we always had so much wind/AIR here. And I chuckled about that one for a while, just like I chuckle whenever he says, “Heggs,” or like the time he came outside with his son next to him and said, “Everyone tells me that my son is my clown.” Clown being how he pronounced clone. Anyway, later that day Remi said something like, “I have to go wash my air.” Which meant he had to go wash his hair. I think it is extremely funny and now have taken to walking around the house and saying to the cats, “We sure have a lot of hair today,” or, “That sure is nice hair coming across the sea.” And I am writing “heggs” on my shopping list instead of eggs.

I really shouldn’t make fun of Remi because he speaks embarrassingly well in English. I think maybe that’s why it’s so funny when he does say something funny like that. Because he does speak English so well that once you get used to his accent you forget that you are not speaking to a non native English speaker. So when he throws out a sentence like, “There’s a lot of salt in your hair,” it’s pretty fucking hilarious.

I’ve been walking around all morning thinking about how perfect our hair is right now. It’s really, really something.


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