2005-03-02 - 5:37 a.m.

So my best friend from Iowa was supposed to come here this weekend and I just wrote her and told her that I didn't think she should. I am feeling really bad right now because I know what a terrible friend I am. I KNOW THIS. On one hand I have never pretended that I am good at being a friend...but on the other hand...maybe sometimes I should at least TRY to be a good friend.

The thing is that I have WAY to much stuff to do right now. First and foremost...this house is being listed in the paper this weekend and because it is getting to be selling season I assume I will get way more calls than I did in November when I listed it. And because I am now DESPERATE to sell this thing because otherwise we are going to have to refinace it and pay $2000 in closing costs AND still have to make payments on it when I move WITHOUT ME HAVING AN INCOME...I need to be totally focused this weekend on selling this place. Due to the huge puss bubble in my throat and the resulting illness I have had because of it (pounding sinus headache and stomach ache because of the ingestion of PUSS) I have not been able to do much in clean. So I need to focus. FOCUS. I have to get this whole house cleared out of remaining stuff and CLEAN THE FUCK OUT OF IT before Friday. And then I need to keep it that way.

It's just not the best time and I think that for the rest of my time here there is not going to be a good time. I am crazy now. CRAZY. I AM going to move in April. I refuse to NOT move in April.

Anyway, I feel really bad.


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