2004-12-15 - 8:44 a.m.

So last night my father finally called to wish me a happy birthday. He said he had been trying to call since my birthday to no avail. Which could be possible because if I am on line my answering machine doesn’t pick up. But I am not on line at every moment of the day. So my guess is he did try to call on my birthday and my cats HAD knocked the answering machine off the shelf so it wasn’t working and MAYBE he did try to call once or twice after that. I am just going to believe that. And he said he hadn’t sent a present because he had thought I had already moved…now, after some thought (and you know I have to make this dramatic because that’s what I do) shouldn’t that be a sign to him that he is being a very absent father? I mean, imagine not knowing if your daughter moved to a different country. Shouldn’t a father be up on that?

Anyway…he also told me that they are finally getting my Uncle Tim’s estate settled. And it turns out that his nieces and nephews are getting some money. So my dad says I will be getting a check for like $700. And I said, “Oh cool!” And then stopped. Because it is not cool to inherit money. It is awful to inherit money unless it is from your 128 year old great grandparent who had spent the last twenty years as a vegetable in a hospital and didn’t want to be alive anymore anyway. Inheriting money is sad. It’s sad that someone’s property and life’s possessions are liquidated and distributed and most likely then used to pay bills. So I wish I could do something really cool with my uncles money. I wish I could do something totally awesome. But I can’t. Because I have bills to pay. Most likely Uncle Tim’s money will pay my winter taxes on my house. And that is just sad. I’m glad that I spent a couple days with him picking out a guitar for myself that he bought. Because a guitar is exactly the kind of thing Uncle Tim would have wanted me to spend his money on.

Day off today. I plan to finally put a floor in my bathroom. Because I just can’t stand it anymore and refuse to wait for someone to come here and help me. I just have to figure out how to do this. I don’t have problems putting a floor in if you don’t have to cut anything to fit somewhere. But in this room I will have to cut tiles and fit them in and I am nervous as hell. It is cool though that I bought the flooring and materials needed to do this bathroom floor for $50. That’s an advantage to having a small house with small rooms. You can change things inexpensively. I think I should be a home improvement guru. I am not handy…but I always think of ways to get things done. Like when I was taking out the floor in the kitchen, it was really difficult to pry up those sticky tiles that had adhesive glue on them. It was taking me forever. So I got out my iron and got a bucket of water and an old washcloth and I would get the washcloth wet and then put it over the tile and then apply the iron to it and I steamed off the whole floor and it was EASY that way. Now for the bathroom, since I don’t want to take out the toilet to put this tile down (because I have no idea how to put a toilet back in and don’t even want to attempt it) I have to cut the tile to fit around the toilet. I have no idea how to do that. But I am thinking that if I can think of something like clay to mold around the toilet that I could then just lift off, I would have a template that I could trace onto the tiles. I should develop something like that. I tube of this stuff that you trace around the area you need and then lift off and trace onto your flooring. It would be revolutionary. Everyone would use it.

I also need to go buy something to wear to our Christmas party. I am such an idiot. I have almost ALL my clothes in France (well, they are en route to Spain as we speak). I left EVERYTHING there. In my house right now I have ONE going out outfit because in my head I was thinking that the only place I ever wore my going out clothes was in France so whenever I sent a load of my stuff there I would send those clothes first because I need all my pajamas and work clothes here. So now I have one outfit and I wore that the other day when I went out for a graduation party for a girl I work with. And I have no idea what I am going to wear when Eric is here and we are going out several times a week like we do. So I need to go buy some clothes today. Also, I have ALL my shoes there too. I have a pair of black boots and a pair of brown boots, my work shoes and my walking shoes. I am totally screwed if I want to wear a skirt. But I can’t justify buying another pair of shoes because I have a ton of them in France (Spain).

Cold sores are a strange thing. They are so stupid. For the first couple days it is easy-ish to cover them up enough so they aren’t visible from a first glance. But then they get in that drying up phase and they crack open and ooze or bleed. And it just looks terrible. There was blood all over my pillow this morning from my lip. A big, deep stain of blood. Not good to wake up to that. I thought I had been shot through the head.

The SUN (OH THE GLORIOUS GLORIOUS SUN!!!) is making an appearance right now. While I am not a huge fan of sun…I do seem to require it, physically, more than other people. I crave sunlight. It is an actual craving for me. A need. There must be a reason for this. Like when I used to crave milk in mass quantities…I would seriously drink two gallons a week at least at home and at work I was always drinking it. And then I read somewhere that calcium helped relieve sore breasts before your period so I started taking calcium pills and got rid of the sore breasts and the milk cravings so that I don’t even drink a half a gallon at home anymore and only drink one glass at work every day with my breakfast. So this sunlight craving is of the same feeling I got when I had the milk cravings. It is a need. So I wonder what is askew in my body that makes it need sunlight? There are numerous things…vitamin D is made from sunlight I think. And your pituitary gland has something to do with sunlight…I need to know what those things do though, for the body. So I guess I have research to do today. AFTER I go outside and spend an hour or so in the sunlight.

Oh, the other day we were doing this trivia thing at work and the question was…what is the opposite of the orient? And none of us knew what the hell that meant. But the answer was the occident and none of us knew what that meant either. So I looked it up and it means the western world, like Europe and North America. And I am bothered that I never knew this or hadn’t even heard that word before. I think I need to get back to my dictionary days when I would learn a new word every day. Oh…but my dictionary is in storage. Sigh. I can’t wait to have my things together again.


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