2004-07-01 - 10:20 a.m.

Yesterday I went to my Uncle Tim’s memorial service. He died a little over a month ago, and for whatever reason they just had the service yesterday. I come from a traditionally non religious family. Only my grandfather on my mother’s side went to church and even he wasn’t “religious” by any means. I think he went more because church was something he had grown up with and it was just habit. But the most anti-religion person I have ever known is my Grandfather Bill who is my fathers step father. He is forever challenging religion, especially the Catholic faith. So yesterday they had the service at, of all things, a Baptist church. Somehow my Uncle Tim had started going to this church at some point over the last couple years and to honor him my grandmother chose to do a service there. Anyway, Bill is VERY impatient with things. All things. A few months ago I took Eric to meet them over coffee and when Bill had had enough he nudged my grandmother and gestured with his thumb and his head that it was time to go…NOW. When you are talking to him on the phone he will abruptly end the conversation by saying, “Goodbye,” and will hang up. So yesterday Bill was sitting there, actually behaving, for the first TWENTY MINUTES of blathering Baptist minister. Then the minister said something about the nature of humans to be sinners and Bill said loudly and irritably, “OH COME ON!” And a few minutes later when the minister said something about being saved by our Lord Jesus Christ Bill said, “GIVE ME A BREAK.” And after the service he went to the minister and said, “Good show.” Bill cracks me up.

Anyway…not many people were at the service. I was never close to my Uncle Tim, he was always the strange uncle that would show up for family functions late and would leave almost immediately after showing up. He had serious drug problems that most everyone just seemed to ignore or sadly accept. I was always kind of nervous around him, because I didn’t know what was going on in his head at the time. But he was an extremely kind and generous person. I think that if it hadn’t been for his drug problems he would have been a person that could have made a pretty big difference in the world. And he loved his cats. People that love their cats are always special to me. I feel really sad that he died…I am sad for the way his life turned out and I hope that he had some happiness somewhere within the 45 years of his life.

In other news, the Spain thing is looking like it is more of a go than I thought. I still don’t understand how corporate America works, but from the side of Eric’s direct bosses, everything is pretty much set. I guess that there is only the approval needed now of big corporate people or something like that. I am getting really impatient to have this done.

Someone asked me the other day if I was nervous getting married to someone with whom I have never even lived on the same continent with. It seems to be a concern with some people, that Eric and I have never lived a normal life together. You know, every time we see one another it is special. And in a way that is true, when we see one another all we want to do is be crunched against each other because it has been weeks since we have seen each other and there will be weeks again that we won’ t see each other. But…I have also spent months of time with him in France and usually when he is here he is here for about a month. And, we are together pretty much non stop for those periods of time and in all that time we only had one misunderstanding/lack of communication/brief/”fight”. And that was early on in the relationship and I was also in freak out mode because I was in week two of two months in France and I wasn’t dealing very well. The only problem I foresee in our future is the cat issue. Not MY cats because he knows that they are part of me, of the me package. I am NOT giving up my cats and he knows not to expect that. The problem will be with stray cats. Because I CANNOT look at a cat that is in need of warmth or food and just walk away. Any animal. But, I will TRY to go about helping the cats/animals without letting them into my life. For him. I will TRY my hardest not to let the situation get to the point it is here where I have numerous NOT MY CATS meowing at my door for food, numerous NOT MY CATS coming in the cat window and spraying up a storm in my back room. All I can say is that I hope like hell that we end up in a neighborhood where there aren’t stray cats and in the future it would be best for us to live far away from places where there are stray cats. And, in the future, I will NOT get anymore cats. My family that I have now is all that I will ever have. I am not a person that NEEDS pets, they just kind of came here. I did take my Squishy cat by choice, and I did get Smudgie by choice…but I was young and having cats just seemed like what you were supposed to do to have a home. But I love all these guys as much as I can love something, they are and have been my family. Eric doesn’t understand that, but he doesn’t fault me for that either.

Anyway….on with the day. Hopefully my father will want to go to dinner or something tonight.


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