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2024-01-25 - 8:51 p.m.
I'm in my thaw bath. This medicine they gave me does not appear to be working for this menopause, it's actually increasing both hot and cold flashes and I'm about ready to ditch it. My doctor told me not to take it in the first place. She's very adamant that I just let this whole hell of a shit show progress naturally and just take the supplements she prescribed. But she prescribed me the other other thing because I was desperate and I'm taking it and it's making life worse, I'm crying A LOT. Also, it's January. And I'm unemployed. And the cats are getting old. And my mother, in the throes of stage four cancer, is doing FAR better than I am. I just want a normal core temperature. Or, even hot. This cold thing, holy god. It's shuts you down completely. It's insane. I should have been in Kzoo today to be with my mom, I have a full tank of gas and the cats are basically just sleeping on heating pads. But she had a ride to the doctor and I needed the twelve hours of life, even if I didn't do much of anything but contemplate my life and yell at Demasiado and listen to music. I was hoping Chris would go with me on Saturday but he can't. And I'm sad. Tomorrow I have a formal interview at a restaurant near me (send all the jujus) and then I'm going to to stupid Novi to apply a few places there. I hate Novi. Then Kzoo on Saturday. If I just get to see my mom and my brother and get fried pickles and a waterstreet coffee, I'll be ok with the six hour round trip. |
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