2015-04-22 - 12:09 a.m.


I've kind of been disappeared lately. Things are weird. Things are really weird. But in a good way. I'm probably a decade off in my grand "awakening", but, it's happening. I'm finally coming out of this weird fugue. I'm getting skinny again and writing and exercising and it's all great. I feel great!

But there is also a really weird aspect to consider. Because...what am I supposed to do once this grand awakening is complete, or even more under way? I certainly can't live my life like I've been living it. There are some things I am realizing right now.

One time, a long time ago, my brother came to live with me for a bit while he was getting himself together. One night he just took off running. He just took off. I feel like that right now. Like I could just take off running in any direction for any length of time. I just need to run. And I'm kind of thinking that I may need to literally relearn to run at this point. Something needs to take away this flight in my heart.

I'm scared of getting old. Not because of the actual getting old part, but because of regret.


The cats are fine. A lot of them had a puking virus the last couple weeks. It's been rather nightmarish. I've been constantly cleaning up puke. I don't know if they are puking because they have been outside more and they are eating grass a lot or if it's because they are shedding and I'm not keeping up with their brushing well enough or if it's just a virus. None of them have actually been, not a justifiable $300 vet visit (which is what it always turns in to). They are all eating and active...but just pukey. I'm pretty much over it now. Things have tapered off quite a bit so that's fantastic. I actually have a lot of cat stuff to talk about right now but I suddenly got very tired.


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