2013-08-06 - 11:48 p.m.

I kept having a nagging feeling that somebody I didn't expect would get in contact with me today. I didn't know who it would be...I just kept feeling like I would open my email and find a message from somebody I didn't expect or would get a stupid facebook friend request from somebody I hadn't heard from in a long time. Or something. But I didn't. And as I am writing this I realize that I never went and got the actual mail today...Oh! If only our mailbox wasn't at the end of the road! Next time we buy a house our mailbox will not be at the end of the road! Anyway. I am disappointed. One time I really freaked myself out with this sort of thing. I was thinking about this kid I went to high school with and hadn't talked to or even thought about him in fifteen years and that day, that day that he popped into my head, he sent me an email. It was the strangest thing. I kind of expected something like that happen today. But it didn't. Or maybe it didn't. Maybe I need to go to the mailbox now.

I'm having a rough time with things lately. Obviously I am not doing what I want to be doing because I'm spending a lot of time in every day dreading things I need to be doing. Like going to work. I don't want to go to work. I almost feel sick to my stomach on Tuesday nights because I so don't want to wake up in the morning knowing that I have to go to work. I do like my job and I am so happy with the people I work for and mostly with the people I work with. But the people on this side of that state? I hate them. I mean, I really hate them. I had a lady freak out the other day because the SEVEN DOLLAR GLASS OF WINE she ordered was a 2011 instead of the 2010 that the menu stated the vintage to be. The worst part about it was that we always give people a taste of the wine before pouring the full glass. So she didn't like it and she didn't even have to buy a glass of it. But she still made a tizzy fit out of the fact that the bottle was a 2011. I had another lady a few nights before that totally freak out because she had ordered a salad and he husband had ordered a steak and her salad had come up about five minutes before the steak because well, you don't have to cook salad and she saw it in the window because she was watching the kitchen like an obsessed freak and she TIMED how long her salad sat in the window. So when we served their food she refused it and told us that it had been sitting there for six and a half minutes. Another lady (I swear I hate the men just as much but it was just the ladies who were being especially wackadoodle last week) was seated on the patio with her party because that was where everybody wanted to sit and she complained the entire time about the heat, about the wind, about the bugs, about the smell (we actually have a very lovely patio, one of the most lovely I have ever seen) and she kept brushing herself off with disgust. Then she said, "UGH, I just HATE the outdoors, I HATE it." So yes, I dread going to work. I am tired of these diva people. The people on this side of the state are divas. Men and women. And they are all gross. I haven't really met a real person yet. I really should have stuck with my original plan when we moved here of working and spending most of my time in Ann Arbor. If only that highway between me and A2 wasn't so treacherous. Sigh.

I am taking Bear to the vet tomorrow. I rather believe things are not good with my friend. Things have been going on for about a year now with him. First it was the weight loss and the hyperthyroid discovery. Then there was something in his lungs and then there was an elevated white blood cell count and hyPOthyroid numbers. It just seems like there is something big going on that is causing all this upset to his health. He's been losing weight again. So back he goes. He's been on antibiotics a few times, he's been treated for hyperthyroid, that thing in his lungs disappeared...he should be better. But he's not. I don't know how old Bear really is. He showed up in 2000 and he was already an adult. Maybe he's just getting thin because he is old? Maybe? Hopefully.

Oh anyway! The entire reason I wanted to write this entry is because I wanted to say that I really feel like it's time for me to go to a psychologist. The one time I went to one it was really helpful, it really helped me break out of my "funk" and get moving again. I have a TON of huge issues I need to talk through right now and I have no one to talk through them with. Most of the people I know and hang out with at the current time are not equipped for listening...and that's all I need. I just need a listener. So I want to go to therapy. But I just can't bring myself to do it because I hate everybody so much on this side of the state. I am almost thinking that it might be a good idea for me to find a therapist back in Kalamazoo. Like, I would DRIVE four hours round trip every week just so I didn't have to talk to somebody on this side of the state.


The kitten, by the way, went to her new home yesterday. That was difficult. But I think it's going to work out. And that is good. She'll be happy there and she'll be well taken care of.


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