2005-11-15 - 10:57 a.m.

Remember a year ago? When I was at that shitty job taking shit from shitty people and I would escape into the bathroom or the backroom or even outside for a minute and I would sigh and think about how very soon I would be away from all that, living in total paradise. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So far paradise has been anything but. This summer everything was scorched, parched, burning up…including us. We didn’t and couldn’t sleep because it was so miserable and hot and gross. And, it never rained and the couple times it did rain it was just a mere tinkle and that once it rained dirt. Even the swimming pool got to a point where it wasn’t refreshing because it was like bathwater. Sticky, greasy, chlorined to hell bathwater.

So now…I think we had a good week once between May and November. Maybe. I do recall a perfect day or two but I don’t think we’ve had a stretch of days. Lately it has been non stop raining. POURING rain. Gobs and gobs of rain and everything, for the last month or so, has been squishy, murky, sludge. Everything. And when it rains it comes in the doors and windows and along with the rain come the worms. IN THE HOUSE WORMS. When I get up in the morning there are always worms inside the house, right in front of the door. There are worms in the swimming pool again, there are worms squiggling around frantic on the sidewalks. And slugs, there are squashed slugs all over from when I walk outside at night and can’t see anything and I crunch all the way to wherever I am going. Crunch, crunch dead snails. Last night I scraped one off my shoe.

It stormed all night again last night. We didn’t sleep much. It storms big here (though for whatever reason storms are not as scary here as they are in Michigan)and it storms loud. I used to be able to sleep through most storms but I can’t here. I think it’s because there is constant lightning. This morning shortly after dawn I heard dripping and I woke up and looked around and went to the bathroom and saw that rain was coming in through the bathroom window and falling against the radiator pipes and making dinging noises…so I threw a towel on the ground and got back into bed. Then I heard more dripping, closer and my face was all wet and the roof was leaking, on me. So I woke up. Now I have been awake for a couple hours and it still isn’t close to my normal wake up time and I feel weird. Like I stayed up all night or something.

I swallowed an olive pit the other day. My mother wouldn’t let my youngest brother eat alone until he was like seventeen because she was terrified of him choking. My father’s accountant choked and died a couple years ago in the middle of a restaurant at lunch. One time at the restaurant I worked at as a bartender I went in the back room for a couple minutes to get more V-8 juice and when I left it was all busy and bustling and loud in there and when I came back, two minutes later, it was all still and perfectly quiet and everyone was just staring and I found out that someone had started to choke and the hostess had done the Heimlich on him and he was just sitting there looking stunned and everyone else looked stunned as well. It was a very weird moment.


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