2005-05-18 - 2:00 a.m.

I must learn not to be so freaked out by good things happening to me. It happened on the way here...I was seriously praying for a delay in our flights and/or would have felt actual relief had at least one piece of our luggage not arrived...because somewhere inside me I am used to things NEVER turning when the flights were on time and the luggage arrived I got totally freaked out that the cats wouldn't arrive. I was a TOTAL mess for the two days prior to their arrival because I was certain at least one of them wasn't going to make it.

So...with that in mind...imagine the panic I must have felt today when at eleven a.m. Eric calls to tell me that the internet (that I have basically been waiting for since January) was scheduled to be installed between 1 and 3...and also, today was the day that my house was FINALLY supposed to close and desperately needed money deposited into my account...and cat has been in the hospital since Thursday and I really have barely an idea of what was really wrong with him (language barrier)and I was thinking that I could maybe, though no one said anything of the sort, get him back when Eric called and announced the installation of the long awaited internet my heart sank. Because I am progammed to believe that something will get fucked up. So when the installer guy actually showed up (this is unheard of in the states and even more unheard of in Spain)BEFORE the scheduled 1-3 I was certain NOTHING would go right. But it all did. I have internet and I just checked my bank account and there is lots of money in it (for a moment) and I GOT THE KITTY BACK AND HE IS RIGHT NOW SLEEPING ON THE BED!! So. I need to chill. I need to remember that things are going to be GOOD. No more chaos, fucked up manic life for me. NO MORE.

Also...I learned another valuable lesson today...

I am not an answerer of doors. Never have been. In fact, for a lot of time there was a sign on my front door that said, "if you aren't invited don't bother knocking." So today when our doorbell went off I freaked out...there is no way I was answering that door. I had enough desperately trying to explain that I don't know Spanish with the internet guy I ran upstairs to get Eric and he was half naked and the person was knocking now and I had no choice but the answer and...this tall guy is standing there with a package in his hands and he is spouting off Spanish and I am looking at him with big, overwhelmed eyes and he is pointing at the package and says, "You are Whisper?" And I say, "SI!!!" And he says, "YOu are American?" And I say, "SI!!!!" And he says, "I am from California!" And I smack him on the arm and scream, "THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME IN SPANISH???" Anyway, he is a neighbor and that is cool. I don't know if he is even is just good to know that there is someone very near who can help me if I need it. And it would be cool to have drinks or something sometime, it would actually be cool to have a neighbor who is American. I know that sounds pathetic, but it would be cool. A Spanish neighbor and an American neighbor.

I need to sleep now.


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