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2001-12-04 - 8:39 a.m.
Birthday yesterday. Was supposed to be very defining day for me and it ended up being a day that I hid under the covers until it got dark enough so no one could see me. J. came over on Sunday, unexpectedly, and proposed to me, geared with a beautiful diamond and all. My response? "Jesus, are you nuts?" I guess my breaking up with him and the subsequent months of my saying, "I just want to be alone, possibly forever." wasn't enough to convince him. Anyway, the stress of that caused me to wake up on my birthday with a face full of zits. It looked like I had a terrible case of chicken pox. So..I couldn't go to my interview and photo thing for the awards because I was too self concious and would of made an ass out of myself. Couldn't even go to the bank to make my house payment because I was too embarrassed. I can't believe I am 28 and dealing with acne. I never had problems before. I know there are reasons, I went off the pill months ago and after being on it for ten years I guess a body would get rather screwed up. But I have never had a great complexion either. Everyone I ask who has a great complexion uses regular soap on their faces. I wonder if they use regular soap because they have good skin and don't need anything else or if regular soap is the key? I have a great short story I am going to write today. I can't wait to get started. Just wanted to get everything else out of the way on-line first so I won't be tempted to sign on and lose myself in cyber space. Z. called last night to say happy birthday. He and I have the same birthday and I have always said that his birth was the best present I have ever gotten, but last night he topped that. He said some very sincere things to me that were so wonderful that it made my birthday happy. I wish I hadn't been so caught off guard and could have made his birthday just as special. I'm outta here. |
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