DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2023-01-30 - 5:56 a.m.

I started a hard Slubfest at midnight today. A Slubfest is a day when I do absolutely nothing. I've been needing a lot of them lately to reset myself. I used to do them every other month or so but lately I've been crashing for an entire day once a week. This weeks Slubfest is serious. On a normal slub day I will usually tend to menial tasks or go for a walk or make phone calls I've been putting off. But today. Nope. I'm staying in bed or the bath all day. I might make soup later on but that fully depends on whether I have a baguette in my freezer. The soup I've been craving is contingent on having a crusty, buttered piece of good bread and I totally forgot to buy some when I went grocery shopping yesterday even though my list had a blaring BAGUETTE written right in the middle of the list. Anyway. Today I slub. The catharsis I achieve through a hard slub is paramount to my well being right now. The interesting thing about my life at the current time is that I keep vacillating through two different types of mind numb. I will either be deep into work where I go into this auto zone of pushing through long and physically challenging days or I'm in full on slub where I shut it all down for a day and will likely find myself eating pretzels in bed at 3 pm while staring at a wall. Anyway. The feeling I get after a day of nothing is akin to the great fever breaking I had back in the early 90's that I still, to this day, long for. I have long standing demands to every person I know that if they get strep throat, they need to give it to me so that I can have that feeling again. There is nothing I like better than being absolutely down and then having a fast, revelatory clearing of what ails me. Like, when you go camping for a few days and you come home smelling of days of campfire and not showering and then you take a civilized shower and wash it all off. I love that feeling.

The cats are doing fine. They have settled into winter finally and have mostly just been eating and sleeping. I do need to get out and shovel paths for them through the snow. For my entertainment and theirs. Having a broken back makes shoveling a little difficult but the joy I get from watching these little idiots walk single file around the maze like paths I make for them is enough to make a little pain worth it.

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