DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2022-09-15 - 5:51 p.m.

I am currently sitting in a parking lot waiting for my takeout food. I'm in my car next to a big, fancy BMW. A little white, very yappy dog is sitting at the cracked window, relentlessly yapping at me. I have considered changing parking spots but the lot is full. I've also considered going in the restaurant but it, too, is full. And I'm in a weepy state of being. I've been having a lot of nostalgia fits the last days. I'm doing ok with them, I can sink into them and they bring me comfort and a remembrance of better times. But I get weepy. And crowds and noise exacerbate the situation and push my peaceful weepies to stress weepies. Especially when the noise is coming from an animal who is obviously not happy in the situation it's in.

Anyway, this restaurant is a place my ex boyfriend and I used to go to all the time when I lived in Vicksburg. This is my last night on this side of the state so I thought I would get all my favorite nostalgia stuff. I've not been eating much, so this feast I got for myself will probably last a few days. Which will be good since I have no food at my house yet and I have no desire to go grocery shopping.

I'm nervous about this next week. I start my new job (again), I still can't hear very well and I'm VERY nervous about that. I went to lunch with some friends today and I couldn't hear a damn thing with all the restaurant noise around me. What concerns me about starting a new job is that I'm not familiar with the menu and I can't hear. At my old job, all I really had to do was hear one word of what they were ordering and i would know what it was...like, crusty mustard chicken...I could hear just one of those words and I would know what they were ordering. I won't get the menu specs until I start my job. I have been reading the menu in line. Hopefully I have enough of it in my head. I have another appointment next Thursday with my ear doctor. I sure hope he can point me in the right direction. This not hearing is just awful.

The dog just left and my sandwich should be done but I think I'll just sit in my car a minute longer. It's been a busy three days. I'm very much looking forward to getting to my house tomorrow and hopefully enjoying a little peace.

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