2022-09-12 - 11:14 a.m.

I'll be moving back to Milford this weekend. I've decided to suck up my pride and go back to the job I was supposed to be at. They really want me there and I start back a week from today. It's frustrating that, had I not had the stupid incident, I would be making really good money now. But, instead, I've been out of work for over a month and I still have two weeks of training to get through. I'll be paid a training wage...but that's something like $8 an hour.

I was trying to explain to a friend last night how it was that I managed to get into a dire financial situation just being out of work for a month. I understand that I am very fortunate. I have family helping me, neighbors and friends helping me...but, you know, I need to pay a bunch of bills still even with all their help. I'm never going to be homeless or without food. But, I'm in dire straights right now. I know it's just temporary and that in a few months I will have forgotten about this panic and I will be on track again. But right now, I'm a little panicked. Anyway...the person I was talking to just couldn't understand my financial dilemma. For example, I told him I had to gather money for my car insurance quickly and his answer was, "just pay the entire bill for the whole year, not monthly, and you'll get a big discount.". Uh, yeah, I'm having trouble just paying monthly you f'ng moron. His answer to my electric bill was that I should just always pay 250 more on it than it is, then I'll always have a negative bill. Sounds good Buddy I'll get right on that as soon as I get past due paid off and can make my normal payments without struggle. He's never been one to understand money plight. I shouldn't have been talking to him about it in the first place, I knew I was going to get upset and frustrated. I used to make very good money at my former job. Then the pandemic came along. Yes, I got the unemployment and the extra $600 but it still wasn't what I was used to making. But, you know, the thought was, this is temporary. I did work during the pandemic whenever they needed me to, but it wasn't for cash or a paycheck, they paid me in food and wine and an occasional gift card to pet smart. Then the extra $600 on unemployment became $400. So I was making even less than the less I had been making. Then the restaurants were allowed to open again but at 1/2 capacity. So we all lost shifts. I used to work 5 and then I was working 2. So then I was really plowing through my savings and just basically shutting down. And we were tip sharing for about five months. Which means that if I made $300 on the bar and the servers each made $50, my $300 got thrown in the pot and divided up with their earnings and split equally between all of us. It was bad. Then we finally stopped doing that once the restaurant was able to go to full capacity again. But the restaurant decided to remain closed on Sunday and Monday so we all lost at least one shift. Then that ear drum thing happened. I was off work for a couple weeks from that and I stupidly didn't file for disability or unemployment or anything, though I did have an incident report made and I filed all my ENT appointments with the lawyer for the restaurant. I thought the ears would heal, my ENT thought my ears would heal. But it's going on nine months now. During which time I had to give up a lot of tables because I couldn't hear so every task took me extra time because I had to diligently concentrate on everything. Previous to the ear injury, I could hear ten orders at one time and get it all going. With the ear injury, I had to start reading lips. So I couldn't do the Whisper zoomies anymore where I could get the order for the whole bar rail in one fell swoop, grab all the wait staff tickets and overhear drink orders servers were getting from tables around the bar area and get those started. Since the ear injury, I have to stop and look at someone while they are giving me their order instead of shaking a martini and grabbing beer and wine while they give me their order, I now have to stop everything and stand still and watch their mouths with my "good" ear (still only 60%) tilted at them. Not only was I slowed down immensely so I wasn't turning and burning, but I also had to give up most of my tables every night so I could concentrate on making drinks. And tables are where you make the most money. So, yes, I plowed through savings since March of 2020. And right before that jackass restaurant let me go in August, I was starting to feel a little safer financially and I paid off a pretty big chunk of a credit card with the last of my savings. And three days later I got fired. Which is still so absolutely insane to me, and everyone else, that it feels as though I'm living in some nightmare. The good news is that I will never be taken advantage of again by a place of employment. The fact that I felt guilty every night because tasks took me so long and I was staying later and later to close the restaurant that I started clocking out an hour before I was actually able to leave. I paid for all of my food, like we were supposed to. Everybody else who works there finagles free food every night. I came in on Sunday or Monday or sometimes both, to do orders and inventory, for which I was not paid a dime. Every week since last November. That shit will never happen again.

Today I am going to a late lunch with some people from highschool. I'm excited to see them. Then I'm going to Milford tomorrow to see my cats and I have some interviews and other stuffs. I'm going to stay in Wixom with a friend as my house isn't ready for me yet and I really don't want to drive back to Kalamazoo tomorrow night. And if I stay, that means I can see my kitties Wednesday morning and afternoon, too. Thursday and Friday I have lunch dates with former coworkers and friends in Kalamazoo and then I think I'll play it by ear, but, I'll probably relax a little on Saturday and pack up my stuff and then head to Milford to get the cats in for the night (my neighbor has been letting them out in the morning and getting them in at night) and then go unpack my stuff in Wixom and hope to all the gods and goddesses that my house is ready the following week and I can get on with this nonsense.


Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

previous - next

Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!