2022-07-25 - 9:57 p.m.

Back when I was nineteen, there was a very handsome man who moved in across the street. He had recently gotten divorced and had a child. But that didn't stop me from kind of stalking him. He was in a band and they all lived in the house across from me. My mother named him God and she and I would just sit on the porch and bliss out whenever he came home. It was a good time of life. Anyway, he is 9 years older than me. And I was a teenager with tricks up my sleeves like crazy. I totally got him with my tricks and we had a bit of a salacious interlude for a while. Because I lived across the street from him, directly, I would wake up and look out my window and one morning I woke to find one of my coworkers coming out of his house and he kissed her goodbye. We were not exclusive, I will never be mad at him for that. And now that I've gone through a divorce, I know that it really does mess with your emotions and brain and every single thing. But he didn't need to sleep with my coworker. And especially not that one (she went on to become a stripper) (not that there's anything wrong with that...but...). So, because I knew his every move (the stalking thing), I knew he went to get a candy bar and a diet doctor pepper before work every night from the gas station down the road. So that night I went and bought all his candy bars (I think it was snickers) and dumped them in the garbage and then I shook up every single bottle of diet doctor pepper and returned them to the cooler. The guys at the counter, who were my friends and one of them still is said, "uhhhhhh, what are you doing?" And I told them to mind their own business and I stormed out. God arrived a few minutes later and I saw him come out with just a diet Dr Pepper and no candy bar (all in the garbage bin buddy).

Anyway, I finally told him this story today. He contacted me and said he and his wife were going to come to the restaurant, they live in my area, and I said, "well, don't get a soda". And then I had explain.

I'm still in mad love with Texas. There are points at which I feel I need to cool it for his own sanity. But then I reject my decision. I'm going to do what I want to do and what makes me happy. What do I have to lose? I wake up smiling every single day even though I've never met him in person. I can't wait to see his face on the phone, read his words, hear his voice. I'm trying to be very patient with this process. I know I want him and I know this is going to be a pretty big ordeal for both of us. But it's gonna happen, friends. It's gonna happen. Yes.

Kitties are good. We've all just been kind of lazy for the last two days. I had a ton of errands to run today but we've mostly just been sitting outside or cuddled in bed since Sunday. Work week starts tomorrow and then to Kalamazoo on Saturday morning for my class reunion. I really am excited to go to it and see people.

And, um, I'm in love. And please move to Michigan, sir. Pronto. Cowboy Joe Marie will love it. (Sorry, I guess I'm not even half cooling it). An addendum to this post. Though I had a sordid affair with God at the age of 19, his ex wife would bring his kid over to his house on his days and somehow my mother became her friend. I think they are still friends. Anyway, my mother's cat had a litter of kittens right around the time that Eric and moved back from Spain, which was years later. God's ex wife adopted one of them. But it didn't work out for her so she was going to have him put to sleep. She thought he was sickly and too much to deal with. So I ended up meeting her in the IKEA parking lot and taking this little, six month old kitten from her. Eric was furious that I got another cat, but, I didn't care and within five seconds of meeting Beaker, he was smitten with him, as everybody is. Now he is fifteen. And he is my baby (even though he's my oldest cat). Charles Beaker le Dickens. And it was all fate. Had God not moved across the street from, I wouldn't have my little baby Beeps.


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