2022-06-21 - 9:55 p.m.

This is difficult, man. I’m fifty and I’m in swoon love with someone I’ve never met in person. I’m trying to restrain myself from swoon love but the more I restrain the more difficult this becomes for me. So I think I’m just going to have to let it fly and not pretend to be hard to get (he’s well aware that it’s something I attempt and fail at and that I am, very much, to get). I’ve been trying to give him his space and not be a crazy person. But I’m crazy as hell right now. I can’t believe I’m not on a plane to Texas.

In other news. I hate my stupid job and it can burn in hell and it might.

I had a few hours in the pool today. It’s was hot today. I actually dragged myself out of bed early today to get my little pool set up and to cut up melons and get the cats situated for the day. Anyway, I started reading my magazines and thought I was having a stroke because everything was very blurry (I’m prone to be very dramatic). As it would turn out, it was because I had my prescription sunglasses on and I don’t need them for reading, just for distance. I didn’t realize I had prescription sunglasses, I got them years ago and I guess I never used them for pool days. I kept washing them and washing them and everything was still blurry. I need a f’ng attendant.

Cats are good. It’s currently 10pm and most of them are sprawled in the driveway as they are apt to do on summer nights. I lured as many as I could in with shaking treat bags but I still have five stragglers just out flat on the warm pavement. I want them all in so I can just watch TV and stop thinking about being in love for a second. Also, I don’t want to stop thinking about being in love.


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