2020-06-08 - 11:31 p.m.

So, yesterday I did this big thing all by myself. I did a major hive inspection and added some stuff to my hives. I've done hive inspections by myseld before, but not a major one. My bee friend has always been with me when I've done big stuff and I always defer to her and I'll duck out when I get nervous. She was going to come over yesterday afternoon to help me but when I woke up in the morning I was like, nope, I'm doing this shit on my own. And I was hell bent. So I got all my gear, got my new boxes put together and then suited up (man, I rubber banded any possible entry point twice and had three layers of gloves on). And I did it!! I was surrounded by thousands of upset bees for about an hour but I got it all done. I needed that solitary bonding experience with them, it was the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time. I didn't get stung and even though they were angry with me, they weren't even pinging my suit like the do sometimes. I had my epi pen ready to go and my phone ready to call 911. But nothing. They were so good to me.

And then today I was cleaning my bedroom and there was a dead wasp on the windowsill so I picked it up and it stung me. I swear, it was dead. And it stung me. Yesterday I was covered in bees and didn't get stung and today I pick up a dead wasp and I got stung. It's just absurd and I've been laughing about it all day.

I put together two new cat towers today. living room and bathroom are FINALLY painted and beautiful and now I can buy a couch and be a real person. I mean, there are two couches in this house but they are cat couches. I don't have a human couch at this point. Nor do I have a TV set up except the tiny one I use for yoga. So now I'll have a space for a human couch and I can get my TV set up again. I won't know what to do with myself!

I also learned to mow my own damn lawn using the fast tractor.

I'm in panic mode about going back to work on Monday. So I'm apparently trying to jam everything I should have been doing during my three months off into three days. I don't want to go back to work. Not because I don't want to work but I realize just how much I despise my job. I hate all of our customers (that's not really true but I do hate more of them than I like) and I don't want to work for anyone any longer. I have great bosses, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to have anyone making choices for me anymore. I want to call the shots. I'm going to send in my application for esthetician school this week. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time but didn't want to spend the money on it. I'm hoping because I was just on unemployment for three months that I'll qualify for some sort of financial aid. But even if I don't, I think it's something I need to do. Then I can rent a little space and only have to deal with one person at a time. Maybe work a night or two behind the bar to make extra money. I could deal with that life.


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