2015-02-28 - 2:50 a.m.

Hi. I'm fine. I am. Really. I actually am.

Today I finally looked up some psychologists in Ann Arbor to go to. This is something I've wanted to do for a while. I want to go to therapy in Ann Arbor. Because, one...I need therapy and two...I want to spend more time in Ann Arbor. I found a place with lots of PhDs on their staff and I called and was immediately put on hold. Two minutes on hold was long enough for me to panic and hang up. About an hour later I called back and the same thing happened. So. I am without a therapy session scheduled and now I feel kind of traumatized by the whole thing. I was totally out of sorts at work tonight. There are things going on. There are things. I have to call on Monday.

(I don't mean to be's just too much for me to write about at three o'clock in the morning.)

Things are fine here and not fine. My cat, Smitten, who was, at one point, the kitten of my family, passed away quite suddenly last Friday at the age of seventeen. He'd been sick and for a month and half I had been hauling him back and forth to the vet trying to figure out why. It was kind a of a total shit show, the whole ordeal. Again, I can't get into that, it's three o'clock in the morning...but yes, a shit show. Anyway, he ended up having a fucking heart attack in the car on the way back from the vet after getting a diagnosis of being full of cancer. It was almost as awful as the night Bear died and I came home to pools of blood all over the house. I know, I know, I know, I know that these damn cats are old and they are going to have awful cancers at this age. But that just doesn't really help when you see your very loved one going through something like that. I fucking hate this shit. I have to keep remembering that they have really great lives until they don't. My cats are some of the happiest cats on the planet. I know this.

Work is fine.


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