2014-12-08 - 11:58 p.m.

I can't even believe how quickly this vacation went by. I'm just, like TODAY, starting to feel relaxed and myself. Which leaves me with just tomorrow in which to fully enjoy time and life. OMG. I can't do this life anymore. I dread, I dread, I dread, going back to that place on Wednesday. It's not the people I work with (mostly, except there are a select few whose presence can escalate any trace of depression one might have), nor is it the customers (mostly, though, of course, there are a select few assholes who can ruin my night just by walking in the door). It's mostly the in your face, constant chaos. This restaurant, I realize more and more, does not run well. I think back to my time in that breakfast place in Kzoo. We were balls to the wall busy ALL THE TIME. And it was almost always completely smooth and perfect. The restaurant I currently work in is kind of a disaster staff wise. They never fire anybody. Which is kind. I probably wouldn't be able to fire anybody either. But they hire people that end up just not being able to cut it and instead of reassigning them to a different job or being very honest with them and telling them that if they can't pull it together that they will have to be let go...we just keep working around these people. And, of course, they are never going to quit on their own because they've likely been fired from numerous places already and this is a nice, friendly place to work. So we have a lot of ineptitude. There are very rarely smooth nights. I am usually in a furious rage by the end of the night. I also live in a constant state of impatience. Anyway. I am not looking forward to going back.

Today I finally tended to my jewelry. I took apart some pieces I never wore or didn't like anymore and restrung them. I took a couple of necklaces that were just too busy and bling for my taste and turned them into sets. So instead of one ridiculous necklace I have earrings, a bracelet and a necklace. I'm very pleased with the day. I now have eight new sets of jewelry (all made from stuff I already had) and I tended that task while drinking tea and listening to The Good Earth on audio book. Fantastic. It's a good book to read via audio book. I was hesitant about buying it because it falls into the category of something I would enjoy reading the actual words of. (I read it years and years ago and while I didn't remember much of the story, just the gist of it, I remember enjoying the process of reading it.) But it was on sale for four bucks on cyber monday. I couldn't resist. And I'm really glad I got it. I think I'll probably "read" the rest of it tomorrow while I'm cleaning. That will mean that I read or listened to five books in the ten days of Whismas. I like that.

I ran some errands today. Trying to get myself all put together for my return to work. It's nice to have these breaks to get ones self in a good space for a while. I've been exercising and the house is mostly clean. I bought a new purse today so I can throw that gross disaster I've been using away. I got new ear plugs so sleep will be better. Oh....this sleep thing. You guys. It's been a disaster since we moved into this house. Eric can apparently sleep through anything and he apparently also does not require a lot of sleep. But I am a light sleeper (who fortunately does not have a lot of problem falling back asleep)AND I require at least eight hours of sleep in order to function happily. I can be OK with six or seven hours ONE NIGHT every few days. When we first moved here our room was on the bottom level of the house. It was a lovely room, I miss it. But Eric's bathroom was attached to it and so when he would get up in the morning to get ready for work I would be awake the entire time. The worst part was listening to his terrible TAP TAP TAP of his razor. I'm still traumatized. At some point I decided that I, alone, was moving upstairs. We were on completely different sleeping schedules. So I moved my room upstairs thinking that I would be away from the bathroom noise and the doors slamming. He's a door slammer. He also walks really hard. So now, my room is upstairs and we still haven't quite made my room and actual room so there is no door, just an opening. So now I hear him walk up the stairs in the morning. Then I hear the beeping of the coffee maker. Then the can of cat food opening (this is worse than the TAP TAP TAP). Then, in the last fifteen minutes or so before he actually leaves...he gets into some weird frenzy of forgetting things. So he has his shoes on and he's running up and down the stairs and the doors are slamming and OH!! I can't take it!! I started using ear plugs from the moment I hear him on the stairs until he kisses me goodbye. But that always fails me for a couple reasons. One, I'm so fast asleep in the delicious silence the ear plugs create that he thinks I am dead and will shake me awake and two, even though I am deeply asleep I do know he is saying goodbye so even if he doesn't shake me awake, I still know it's time to take the earplugs out (I just don't feel safe sleeping with them in if there isn't somebody else in the house with me) and so I'll take them out when he kisses me goodbye. And then, ALMOST EVERY TIME, a minute later he slams back into the house because he forgot something. It's such a nightmare.

Anyway. I bought new earplugs today because I've been out of them for a week or so now. I've gotten into the habit of just sticking my fingers in my ears when I hear him wake up. Which is just awful. We also FINALLY went to the home improvement store and looked at doors to make this room a room. I'm pretty sure having a door on this room will not cut out the noise but it might help a bit. Going to the store tonight was pretty hilarious. Eric and I are such different souls. I can walk in there and take about fifteen minutes TOTAL to show him everything I want in every room. For real. It takes him so long. We were standing there, staring at doors forever and I finally said, "OK, let's get out here," and he said, "you're impossible!" and I said, "what are you talking about, I already told you what door I wanted ten minutes ago! Why are we even looking any more??".

Hopefully by the time 2015 rolls around I have this room made into a room.

Cats are fine. They like this season because I can buy them a billion little christmas bulbs and bells to play with. They are the best cat toys.


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