2014-08-19 - 11:51 p.m.

Here are some things going on.

Tomorrow I have to take my little cat Beaker to the ophthalmologist. I am very distraught. This thing with Beaker has been going on for weeks now and I am starting to get really scared.

This weekend we are going to look at some houses in another town northeast of here. Eric kind of said something in passing the other day about how we should live there and all of a sudden I started thinking that, yeah, we SHOULD live there. I sure like our spot right here but neither of us has been even coming close to thriving here. Our house is awkward and uncomfortable and neither of us has a space here. And the town we live in, as cute as it is, doesn't really have anything for either of us. I don't know. Anyway. We're going to go look at a few houses, spend some time in the town for the day. It will be fun. We had fun looking at houses when we went to the other side of the state a couple months ago. It's nice for a day to think about exciting changes.

Work is fine. That evil asshole finally put in her official for real notice and I after next week I will hopefully never have to see her again. I can't wait.

The cats are all mostly fine. There's been this thing with Beaker. He was hospitalized and then has just been taking forever to heal from the whatever nasty virus it was that he had. I've been calling the vet almost daily for about two weeks and I've taken him in three times now in the last couple weeks. We kept saying that something just wasn't right, it just wasn't right. It wasn't until the other day that I realized what it was....his pupils were never changing size, they were just perpetually open. The vet didn't see anything that she could understand upon examination so it's off to the ophthalmologist. There are lots of things it could be. He could have stressed himself right out during hospitalization (when we visited him he was shaking like crazy and was so scared) and drove his blood pressure up so high that he blew his retinas. Or the fever he had (so very high) could have caused nerve or muscle damage. Or he could have had a drug interaction. Or the virus could have done something. Or a whole bunch of other things. All I know is that he's not seeing things very well. My heart is broken.

Oscar is doing OK. His last visit to the vet a few weeks ago revealed that he's pretty much in the last stages of kidney failure. I'm not sure he's going to make it to twenty years old. I've been having a hard time dealing with this over the last month and I've just finally found some peace about it. I've lived with this cat for longer than I've lived with any human. I'm trying to make every second I have with him count. I'm trying to not miss any seconds either. I want to go to Kalamazoo for a night but I don't want to miss one night of him sleeping next to me. So I'm just giving him fluids and pills wrapped in cheese and he's fine. He's happy. He's getting everything he wants. I'm no longer giving him one of the medicines he is supposed to get because he hated it. It's a vile liquid and it really stressed him out. I know not giving it to him will probably decrease the amount of time I have left with him but I'd just rather that he be happy every second. He seems to enjoy getting the fluids. He sits on my lap and I scratch his head and neck for the five minutes or so it takes and he purrs. And I know it makes him feel better.

The other cats are all fine. That little four pound girl from animal control is doing great. She's gained a bunch of weight and is really confident and sweet. We like her.

I guess that is all.


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