2014-07-10 - 1:16 a.m.

Well, my vacation turned into the shittiest possible vacation it possibly could have been. FUCK THIS SHIT.

I cleaned for four days straight. Well, when I wasn't running to the vet for one thing or another. Oscar turned up with an unexpected eye thing, for example. (I ended up taking him to a vet WAY closer to here because I didn't have ANY time that day to get him to my normal vet and anyway, the vet on duty that day at my normal vet is one I try to avoid. I REALLY liked this new vet. So now I'm kind of in a situation. It would be so much nice to drive five minutes to the vet instead of forty five. But I do love my other vet, I trust her so much and I know that she and I are absolutely on the same page about cats and their, shit.) So yeah, I cleaned for four straight days, then went shopping for all the party stuff and then I cooked and cleaned some more and I just kept thinking, it's OK, after Friday I will have a spotless house, a full fridge, my nephew will be in town and I can just RELAX. Well. No. On Friday, party day, my throat was burning all day. I thought it was just allergies. I took an ibuprofen and an allergy pill and neither worked. I gargled salt water and that didn't work. But I didn't have time to worry about it. I had twelve hours of party to get through. I am not a fan of Eric's current group of friends. Not at all. So I was really thankful that his best friend for forever showed up. I invited a few friends myself and they were nice and calming to have around. And of course, Ray. Ray is good. So there was a lot of stuff broken. It was loud and obnoxious. There was drama. Someone fell in the firepit. No one helped me clean up AT ALL. Like, not one person asked if they could help me clean up. (my friends had long since departed the party by the time it was time for clean up) So after the last person fell asleep I went around, made sure all the fires were out and the doors were closed and blah blah blah. Then I went to sleep around five.

When I woke up on Saturday morning I felt horrible. My throat was burning, I was congested, all that. I washed some dishes and then got back into bed with a fever. I was basically in bed until I went to work today at four. I still feel pretty crappy but I'm 80% recovered. So instead of having four lovely days of vacation I was just in bed feeling like crap and not even sleeping much because I'm coughing so much. I didn't get to see my nephew except for one quick second on Friday and my cat, Abby, took a turn for the worst on Monday. So I dragged myself and her to the vet and this is pretty much it. I thought I was taking her to have her put to sleep...she's that bad. But the vet thought there was one more thing we could try that would buy her a few months. As you know, the decision to euthanize is impossible for me. I can't do it unless i know there isn't any other choice. But, she's still not eating or drinking on her own. Eric and I need to decide when we are taking her in. This is really hard. When I took her in on Monday she was weak and tired. The vet gave her a huge steroid shot, opiates, antibiotics, appetite stimulators...adn she's still not eating. But now she's a lot more spry. (so maybe she is secretly eating?? see? That makes it so hard for me, what if she's secretly eating and I think she's not eating and I have her put to sleep when in fact she's been eating the whole time?) She's a sick girl, for sure, her lymph nodes are huge and she's lost a tremendous amount of weight. The idea was that steroids shrink the lymph nodes and give more time and make a cat more comfortable. But it's not working. You can't ever know what is really going on inside a body unless you do exploratory surgery which is obviously not going to happen. My vet thinks that this is an advanced cancer, not the beginning stages of lymphoma that we initially though.


I am going to try to take a vacation again in September. I'm putting it out to the universe right now that I would like it to be 80 degrees and sunny ONE of the days so that I can have a good pool day. The rest of the days I would like to be 70 degrees or cooler during the day and really cold at night. I would also like two days of rain. I would like no cat emergencies. I would also really like it if Eric could have a business trip for three of those days.

Until then. Man, I'm just going to try to keep this all together.

Oh, the reason I am writing this entry isn't really because I wanted to. It's because my cat, Sully, has decided that this is the night that he is going to pull his yearly all nighter. Last summer he was gone for three days. I'm going to try to not freak out this time. I saw it in his eyes yesterday when I brought them all in for the day. I saw that he was in this mode. I decided that I will wait for him until 2 am and then I am going to sleep. And I'm not going to set an alarm for every hour like I usually do when a cat is out at night. (but I'll probably still get up every hour anyway) I have the camera set up on the porch and the garage is open for him. Little bastard.


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