2013-09-07 - 11:22 p.m.

I am exhausted.

Last night I worked and then went grocery shopping and then came home to search for two of my jack ass cats who didn't come home at the proper time. Neither of them made an appearance even after I put away the groceries and did a few chores and I decided I needed to go to bed anyway because I had to work this morning. Toot has been pulling this shit about once a week but it's not SO awful because he will appear at my bedroom window and let out a huge meow for me to let him in when he's ready. I sure don't like him to be outside but it is what it is. And I left the garage open for Sully and put the other garage cats in the house for the night. So if he wanted to come home he could, he lives in the garage. So I got ready for bed and started reading and dozing off and I heard this horrible death scream out in my yard. A death scream. I bolted from bed, ran down the stairs, grabbing the flashlight as I flew outside. Whatever it was was still making the horrible noise and I tracked it to a bush and dove in and saw a blur of gray and then heard a scramble and then...nothing. I went in the house sure that it hadn't been one of my missing cats but still not totally sure because I only saw one party of the death scream inducing incident. I think now that it must have been a raccoon trying to kill something and that I interrupted it because I saw something small scurry away from the scene area. Anyway...even though I was pretty sure it wasn't one of my cats, I still wasn't certain so I basically just waited up in bed all night. Toot showed up around three thirty am and Sully NEVER showed up last night. He was, instead, waiting for me when I got home from work today. God damn cats.

And that other cat? The one that has been missing for three months from somebody a few streets over? Yeah, he's been showing up and tonight he was just walking into the live trap when a god damn raccoon showed up and scared him away. The god damn raccoons are totally thwarting my efforts. I really, really want to catch this cat.

Bear is the same. Not good but not dead. He went crazy on a cat nip toy tonight and is still one of the first cats to the food dishes at feeding time. But man, his breathing. It's heart wrenching. You don't want to see this shit. I'm starting to lose all faith in vets at this point. Nobody has given me any good or clear advice or even a certain diagnosis. And I've been to four different vets and specialists now. It's absurd. I am really, really starting to hate veterinarians.


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