2013-07-18 - 1:13 a.m.

As you know, this weather is bullshit. I am a disaster. My brain is all frazzled and I can't quit sweating and I am gross and I have to take like fifty showers a day and you know, we have no air conditioning in this god damn house* and the air conditioner at work can't keep up with all the bodies so all day today I was just a burning flame of disgusting. And all the cats are staring at me like I did this and they are pissed that they can't go outside and honestly, I should be letting them out because it's not like it's much cooler in the house than it is outside except none of them are abiding my rules lately so if I were to let them out I would have no guarantee they would be back by the time I left for work and I just can't have that happen. So, they are in. All of them. (Except I let Toby out for an hour today because he follows my rules.)

*This god damn house. Lesson learned. When we bought this house we were just so grateful to have found a house and we loved the old guy selling it to us and so...we didn't even put a lower offer in, we paid what was being asked. And even though we knew the no air conditioning thing was a big deal for us, we didn't even put that in the deal...we should have said, you put in air conditioning and we'll buy the house. Instead we went for something silly like no closing costs to cover the cost of the new roof we needed almost immediately. We are so stupid. We've lost, through stupid mistakes like that, well over ten thousand dollars. It might be more like fifty thousand dollars, actually, when you take into account all the other stupid financial errors we've made. Anyway, we're fine. We're fine.

We had a house of people for a couple weeks. They are gone now. I haven't yet been able to really sit back and appreciate my solitude because it's been so damn hot and I feel like the heat is an actual presence in my life and so I still feel pretty needful of a day alone. It looks like next week will be perfect. I am planning to spend Monday in the pool reading magazines in perfect silence.


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