2013-06-06 - 10:00 a.m.

It seems that all I do these days is drive back and forth to the vet and wait for repair people. Although I'd like to say, "hopefully today is the last time I will see a repair person for a long, long time!"...I know it's not true because our washer is kind of broken and our stove is kind of broken. And our driveway needs to be seal coated. And we need a wall built. Anyway. Today hopefully IS the last time I have to see a repair person concerning our water. We now have a new well pump so no more air spurts and sludge being drawn through the lines and as of fifteen minutes ago we have a new water softener because all that air and sludge ruined our other one. So after over a month of not being able to take a decent or enjoyable shower...hopefully by tomorrow I will have lovely, clear, non blood smelling water in which to bathe. The guy said it will take a couple days to get the rusty hot water out of the hot water tank but I'm basically just going to turn the hot water on and let it run until I have clean water. Because I'm sick of this shit.

In other news.

I am pretty sure I am going to start facial lady school in August or September or October. I don't have the $4,000 it will cost, not at all, but I have to do something. I can't work in a restaurant any more. It's very apparent that I will never find a job like the one I had in Kalamazoo for so many years and so I am officially going to stop hoping for that. This job came much closer than any others but it's missing the key elements that made me so content at my old job. Mainly, it's extraordinarily difficult to be efficient at this job. And it drives me crazy. I love nothing more than a really busy night when I get going in my groove and produce a perfectly orchestrated evening of efficiency and perfect service. For one thing, the restaurant is too small. Somebody is always in my way. Always. In. My. Way. For another thing...the bar is really small and somebody is always coming behind it to get in my way even more. Whether it's a busboy or one of my bosses...there is always somebody fucking with my movement. If I had perfect nights of service and movement I wouldn't get so agitated by little things like annoying servers who sit down as soon as they can every night to drink wine and annoy the fuck out of me. There's been an issue with this. Every night all the servers are in a huge hurry to get cut from the floor. Which means that eventually I end up being the only person left taking tables and the bar. It gets kind of busy for me by the end of the night because I have that going on PLUS allmy closing work. As the bartender I have to do all the paperwork and balance the drawer and check everybody out and I am the last person to walk out the door every night because I am responsible for setting the alarm and making sure everything is off and safely locked down. It's a lot of work and it's a lot of stuff on my plate at the end of a night. So when the god damn employees start wanting their wine it gets annoying because it adds more stuff to my already hectic end of the night. If four servers want wine at the end of the night and they all drink at least two glasses of wine (it's usually more like three or four) that's eight extra transactions I have to do. That's eight times I have to stop doing what I am doing to do a transaction for them. And they never have the exact change and instead of doing anything while they are impatiently standing at the bar waiting for their wine (hey, how about you empty the glass washer or fill some straws instead of just standing there waving your money and empty wine glass at me?) I talked to my boss about it and asked if we could have the servers start ringing in their own wine and food before they do their check out. So then I wouldn't have so many transactions to totally makes sense. And she agreed that it made much more sense and an email was sent out saying this was the new procedure. And nobody did it. The first day after the e-mail they all did their check outs and then came back up to the bar and ordered their wine. So another e-mail was sent out and my boss addressed a couple people directly and STILL they aren't doing it. So on Saturday I said something. I tried to explain why it was so annoying. I tried to explain that it takes me away from customers and it takes me away from getting stuff done and STILL...they are STILL not ringing any of their stuff in. So yesterday I sat down with my boss again and told her that I give up, that I'll just ring in all their shit and get their wine and work for them for no tip and a lot of annoyance. And I asked her why they didn't understand why I wanted to them to ring in their own stuff and she said, "because you are the only person who actually WANTS to go home at the end of the night." And bam. Yep. They would all stay there all night if they could. They don't get my hurry, they don't get why I am always running around like a speed freak at the end of the night. Yes, I want to go home. SO RING IN YOUR OWN WINE YOU FUCKERS!!

One of the girls really gets to me. I get some of the others...why they don't really want to go home. Most of them are older women who have been working in this restaurant for 20+ years and they aren't married and you know, I get it, this is their life. But the one girl (who has also been there for 20 years) has a twelve year old son. And I have no idea when she ever sees him. She's a single mom and even though I know his grandmother lives a couple houses down from them so on nights when L. works I know the grandmother is with the would seem to me that if you have a twelve year old you should be busting your ass to get home as soon as you can at night. Yesterday she had to be at work at 1030 in the morning and then somebody called in sick for the night and so she worked their shift. When that happens we'll get you off the floor ASAP. She could have left at eight last night but instead she sat down and drank wine until 1130. I'm not judging (except I am), I know mothers need breaks and need their time too but it's not like this is a once in a while thing or even a once a week thing. This is five times a week. And I know for sure that on Sunday she has a standing bar routine with her friends. So that's six days a week that she's out and not at home. GO HOME.

Lord. That was a tangent. So yes, facial lady school as soon as I find four thousand dollars. Ugh. It's not going to happen. Even if I did come across four thousand dollars...I can't use it for facial lady school. I still have debt. And our house is still a disaster. And I should go to real school. But I have this nice little fantasy about being a facial lady. It seems like it would be nice to just deal with one person at a time. It seems like it would be nice to make their skin nice. It seems like it would be nice to be essentially self employed. And it seems really nice that I could stop looking for a decent facial lady and just be my own. Plus, I would be in beauty school! Which means that for however many months I am there I would be getting lots of pampering treatments myself. That was the best part about massage school. People had to practice what they were learning so I got a lot of massage during that year. I'm thinking about this. Maybe if I get a huge chunk of debt paid this summer (unlikely due to things like appliance repair and vet bills) I will feel better about adding back four thousand dollars to the debt pile. Maybe I just need to suffer through another year or two of restaurant work. Then I can go to facial lady school. Ugh.

It's been beautiful lately. I'm loving this weather. If summer could always be like this I would be very happy. It's been enjoyable lately, being alive. I've been digging in the dirt and planting things and spending long moments with the sunshine on my skin.


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