2013-02-17 - 11:48 a.m.

Snow squalls are weird mother fuckers man. Yesterday I woke up to a sunny morning and then all of a sudden it was all grey and snowing like crazy and blowing wind. I was thinking I would have to leave an hour early for work but by the time I had to get ready it was nice and sunny again. So I get on the highway and all of a sudden it's like I'm driving through a war zone. There are cars, lots and lots of them, in ditches, CARS UPSIDE DOWN EVEN!. People milling about, tow trucks every where and then, a few miles down the highway, there are about twenty police cars, fire trucks, ambulances and the westbound side of the highway is totally shut down. So I'm driving through all this and I realize that th roads are perfectly clear and that I am, in fact, traveling along at eighty miles per hour just like everybody else. It was very difficult to wrap my head around the fact that had I been traveling through this area just an hour before it would have been a completely different adventure. Because of one randon snow squall. A couple weeks ago four people died in this area from a large accident on the highway involving a snow squall.

Anyway. I got a new computer! It's pretty awesome! Three-ish years ago my lap top blew up at a very critical time and I didn't have time to save up for a new computer so I had to go out and buy the absolute cheapest machine I could find. And pretty much from day one it was a piece of crap. Half the keys didn't work and I had somehow managed to change text color (and nobody could figure out how to fix it) so I couldn't ever see what I was typing with my keyboard that didn't work anyway. So a few months ago Eric bought me a Dell for cheap cheap on e-bay and it worked for a while. It did. It was a good computer. But then the hard drive blew up. So Eric went out and got me another cheap laptop and I used it the first night and packed it back up and told him to return it. I'm not a person who does that. I'll usually just accept what I have. I'll make do. I'm a make do kind of person. But that laptop was awful. I am certain I would have thrown it out the window by the end of the week. So he returned it and came home with this beauty. It is so incredible to be able to type again! And do things with great speed!

Work is fine and yet it sucks. I don't know. Alcohol is annoying. I'm getting so sick of people not making any sense. Being a bartender is sometimes like being the only sober person at a party. Well, not sometimes, all the time. If you've ever been that sober person, you know that drunk people, when you're not one of them, are annoying. I guess it doesn't happen all the time...but lately it seems like I have more and more people drinking to get to get drunk than I have people drinking to relax and enjoy their meals. I like the people who have a glass or two of wine and unwind. They open up slowly, relax. I don't like the people who suck down two martinis before even ordering an appetizer and start blurting out stupid nonsense. And I get a lot of the two martinis (or more) before even thinking about food kind of people a lot lately. Anyway. I am trying to turn my thinking around about this whole thing. Because I am making GREAT money right now and I have the exact schedule I want and for the most part I like everybody I work with and I love my boss and it's good. I just don't like the soul sucking the alcoholic vampires are doing. I just need to turn it around for myself. This is actually a phenomenal source for writing. I just need to start peering into people as a writer again and I can use this to my advantage. I am taking a small vacation next week. Actually, it will be ten days but really I am just taking four days off work (using the three days I usually have off in a week as bridges). My main plan is to reset myself so I can go back to work and start using things to my advantage. But I have to get the poisoned thoughts out of my head first to make room for things like that. I have to be less sick of people.

Also on my reset list. EXERCISE. I HAVE GOT TO GET THAT BACK INTO MY DAILY LIFE. I plan to exercise every single day of my vacation no matter what.

And I'd like to paint something. Maybe my bathroom. I'd love to paint my bedroom, it's had paint samples all over the wall for a year now and I still can't decide on a color. Actually, this room has had paint samples and splotches of paint here and there since we moved in. It's been five years and I haven't been able to pick a color. So far I've managed to get one room in this entire house the way I want it. ONE. That is not good.


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