2012-11-18 - 6:33 p.m.

For the last twenty four hours I've been fuming. I've been on a frantic mission to disprove a thought somebody shared with me the other. Normally I don't get so worked up, I'm pretty good about letting things roll of my back. I might, for a moment, become infuriated with someone for something they say that I deem stupid but I can usually put the fire out and regain control of myself. I am, after all, the nicest person ever. (This is true, I've been hearing it from people over and over again lately. I know, it's hilarious to think of ME as the nicest person ever but apparently I AM the nicest person on this side of the state. Which is not a huge surprise considering that this side of the state is full of complete assholes.)

So. The place I work is actually very wonderful. I've finally found a “home” here and it's great. Somehow I got very lucky in landing this job. Not only is it a solid establishment (a lot of things over here are not so long-lasting as what I am used to in Kalamazoo. There is a lot of money over here and people open restaurants left and right over here, on a whim. Most of them don't last. But this restaurant where I work has been around since the 50's.), but it is also full of really nice people. I love the women who own the place and I love most of my coworkers. Our customers, for the most part, are pretty great even though a lot of them are steadfast Republicans. HOWEVER...there are three people I work with who I often feel like stabbing in the throat. They are horrible, nasty people and I can't wait until they leave. (There used to be four but one of them, the person who drowns chipmunks and gets great delight from doing so left a month or so ago.) I think it's pretty good that I only despise three of 40+ employees.

Number one on my list is a lady who is almost 70. She has been with the restaurant for about 25 years. Maybe a bit longer. She's an absolute disaster. Since this restaurant has been around for so long ,we have a lot of “lifers” there. I am actually the second youngest of the bunch. And I am way too old to still be in the restaurant business. The other old ladies are a delight to work with. They are slow and make mistakes but they realize it and they are fun and helpful wherever they can be. Their tables, even though they are not getting the fastest or most accurate service, always walk away from dinner with huge smiles and nothing but praise. Because they had a good time, they felt welcome and they felt taken care of (even if their drinks took a bit longer to get to the table). However....this woman who I want to kick....she's an asshole. I also think she is over medicated. She just seems very unstable. She freaks out in an evil, evil way, she's the biggest bitch I've ever met. And because she's been with the restaurant for so long and she is a manipulator with great talent, she gets all the best shifts. Which means (because I also get the best shifts) that I work with her every night I work. She's a nightmare. And then, when her shift is over, after being a complete asshole all night, she'll sit down in a booth and wave for me to bring her a glass of wine. Which she won't tip me for bringing to her. And never once has she apologized to me for being an asshole to me. Working in a restaurant is very stressful. On super busy nights we all kind of snap a little. And we all also apologize and make amends if we've been really awful. We all expect each other to have bad nights here and there, it's part of the business. It's hard to take care of people non stop and not sometimes just snap. I know that, we all know that. But this person seems to think that no matter what she does, she owes no apology. I hate her. And she lied to me about chickens. Which makes me hate her even more. (she said her daughter was raising chicken for eggs and that the profits were going towards her grandsons college instead of paying the $3 she was charging for a dozen eggs I was paying $5. She said her daughter was raising the chickens and took good care of them and I gave her the extra two dollars every week and told her to buy the chickens a watermelon with the extra money every once in a while and she said, “OKAY!”. And then one day I found out she was lying and the eggs were coming from the farmers market, not from her daughter.)

Number two is a cook. I won't even go into much detail about him because I usually just try to pretend that he doesn't exist. To make it clear how much I hate him...I have said six words to him in the last seven months. And I wouldn't have even spoken that much to him except I had to. I hate him. He's an evil little woman hating troll.

So that brings us to number three. And the reason I am so worked up. This girl has been a problem for me since day one. She's super annoying and I can't stand her. During our first week at the restaurant I sat with her one day for an orientation and a fly was buzzing about and I was trying to shoo it away so no one would kill it and as I was shooing it she said, “oh, please don't kill that fly!” And I was instantly happy. Because, wow. I never meet other people who won't kill flies. (Unless absolutely necessary. I have a couple fly genocides every year...I have too. It's not fun walking into a cloud of flies in your own house.) So I was sure this girl was going to be my favorite person. Until about two months later when she and I were scheduled a bartending shift together and over the course of five hours I found out she was the most bonkers of all bonkers. She is the only person in a twenty four year long restaurant career who I've gotten in an argument with. (unless you want to count the cracked out person (for real, crack) who freaked out on me in the middle of a lunch rush eight years ago.) Anyway. Since then I've only worked with her once and it went OK but only because I was trying my hardest to avoid her the whole night. I usually only see her now on Saturdays for about fifteen minutes when we are changing shifts. So yesterday she comes in and she's doused in perfume. Which has nothing to do with this story but who comes in to work in a restaurant doused in perfume? We all know that's a huge no no. I am not overly sensitive to scent but even I was feeling faint and nauseated by her scent. So I'm turning the cash drawer over to her and she was counting it to verify it was accurate and we're making small talk and she says all excitedly, “My dad finally got the buck he's been feeding for the last couple years!” And I am instantly on fire and I say, “That's REALLY awful!” And she says, “well, I know you're all, whatever it is your are about animals, but it's the most Buddhist way, the way he got that deer.”



I might have gotten a little snarky with her. And I left. FAST.

I might have slit her throat if I had not.

Because for one. Um. OK. I know Buddhists have been selling out for a while now. I get it. They aren't as vegetarian as they are supposed to be and I know these monks are saying it's Ok for people to eat meat because it's profitable for them to say that. I know they are luring wealthy people in and they are telling them it's OK to eat meat because they probably wouldn't have the following they have if everyone were required to be vegetarian. So this girl has been reading some Buddhist propaganda. I know she has. She wouldn't kill a fly but she's OK with someone baiting and killing a wild and free deer. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

Also...number two. This pisses me off more than anything else in the world because my father is also under this really awful Buddhist propaganda. He professes to be this devout Buddhist. He built a fucking apartment on his property for some monk to live in whenever he wants to visit the United States. And this apartment can't be used by anyone else because the monk has to have it cleansed of all impurities or whatever. FUCK YOU. My father is a devout Buddhist but he eat bacon every single time I see him. He stuffs his face with meat every time I see him. And he says it's OK because his guru (or whatever) says he just has to make karmic payment for eating meat. OMG. FUCK YOU! My father, who was a vegetarian for my whole childhood. My father who used to stop the car every time he saw a dead animal on the side of the road and would move the animal out of the road and into a peaceful spot so it could at least rest in peace. Now he eats bacon. And now he uses the “never have attachments” Buddhist bullshit as an easy way out of being a father to me and my brother. FUCK YOU.

So obviously, this girl bringing up Buddhism in the same sentence as deer baiting....she's lucky I didn't reach right in and rip her heart out.



Been a pretty good couple weeks. I am keeping up with my National Novel Writing Month word counts (oh, yes, I am for sure using this entry towards my count!). It's been nice. I get up in the morning, make some tea, feed the cats, let the garage cats out, let the house cats out weather permitting and then I get back in bed and write for an hour or so. It would be nice if I would keep this up forever. There's really no reason I shouldn't be able to.


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