2011-07-02 - 12:00 p.m.
The other day I realized that I couldn't think of one person on this planet that I didn't want to say fuck off to. I mean, there are some people who I only minorly want to say fuck off to...but for the most part there isn't one person in my life who I am not mad at in some shape or form. This is a sad state of affairs and begs for change. Like, serious change. Unfortunately I am so mad at everybody right now that the only thing I can think of to do is move to another country and change my name and never speak to anybody again. Which isn't the best course...because I do love my people even though the anger...rage, really...is taking over at a rapid pace.
Anyway...being mad at this many people makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. Am I all wrong? Because surely one shouldn't be so mad at so many people. What am I doing wrong in my life to make the things that everybody is doing to make me angry seem so rage inducing to me? I mean...for example...I am pissed off that Eric just spent at least $200 to go to some stupid pseudo hippy music fest where he has to CAMP for three nights (and we all know how much Eric loves his luxury so why the fuck would he even be remotely enticed to spend money for something so obviously not up his alley?) while I am at home obsessively going over my budget to see if I have enough money to buy a decent bag of coffee this fucking week. Am I missing something? Is it me that is wrong about this? Is there something I am doing wrong that even leads to this sort of decision on his part? If I cleaned the house more would be not find any excuse at all to get out of the house for any length of time? If I let him listen to more music at home without swearing about the noise after half an hour would he be happier here?
If I visited my father more often would he be more involved in my life?
If I wasn't so cynical and were more friendly and didn't make snide faces all the time would I be invited to more things?
Or really, is every single person I know a total asshole?|
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