2011-05-11 - 7:15 p.m.

Well...Eric just left for five days in Paris. I dumped him at the airport curb and hightailed it right to Big Lots. Ugh. I find it rather upsetting that I was actually kind of excited about going to Big Lots and that I was not at all jealous that Eric is on his way to Paris. I actually don't want to be there right now. I actually don't find anything appealing about a trip of any sort right now. I just want to put this house together. So I am taking advantage of five days of alone, of straight time (except the days I have to work) in which to get things done. I bought a rug for the outside step...and I had to go to Big Lots to get it cheap because you know, stray cats and opossums and raccoons hang out on our front porch and rugs get trashed pretty quickly. I also bought new laundry baskets which will seem like a luxury since the laundry baskets I've been using for the past DECADE fall apart more and more every time I do laundry (which is pretty much every day). So yes, I am excited and not at all jealous that Eric is going to be in Paris. Not at all jealous. (really, there is only a small amount of sarcasm in that statement. The only REAL reason I want to be in Paris right now is because I miss the smell of it there and I would really, really like a baguette with butter and a cafe au lait.


The work situation is slightly improved but I am braced everyday for something to happen that will make it dire again. In the meantime I am listening to War and Peace on my MP3 player and it's awesome. I am about forty five hours into the sixty hour book and I am rather addicted. What a phenomenal book. Especially considering the year it was written. We don't change...we don't evolve...we are insipid and petty. I am almost fully confident in my choice to not bring offspring onto this planet. I had been thinking recently that maybe my theory was all wrong, that maybe we ARE evolving and that maybe there IS hope for the human race and that my having a biological offspring would be OKAY. But I am back to believing that it is not okay to have children. At some point in the next thousand years life is going to become unbearable and I don't want to have been responsible for having put any person on this planet to endure that. But I am going to adopt. Eric can deal with it. I find it intolerable that I am not giving love and happiness to a child who needs it.

So yeah, War and Peace. It's an awesome book and I am so glad that I found something productive to do with my time at work.


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