2011-04-11 - 7:23 p.m.

I am planning to put my notice in at my job on either May 1 or June 1. I haven't quite decided yet. The best thing for me to do would be to stick it out until July when I will get three paychecks in one month instead of two. But I'm not sure I can wait that long or that the narcissistic, control freak daughter of the owner won't find reason to dispense of me before that. Anyway. I am so desperate to get out of there that I am planning to go to school in the Fall. I don't have any other excuse that isn't ridiculous than that. Because the job itself is still perfect for me and I am only using a tank of gas every month and I don't have to worry about what will happen if I break my leg. (as a waitress/bartender breaking my leg would be disastrous) Sigh.

Things I am concerned about.

I really wanted to have my debt paid off by my birthday. I'm not sure I can pull that off if I quit/go to school/am a waitress again.

Although I am oddly excited about school (an excuse to write!! by golly, I will no longer be able to prioritize cleaning!)...I don't exactly trust myself to follow through on this.

I DESPERATELY miss restaurants but at the same time, if I end up working for yet another douchebag (FYI, since moving to this side of the state I have yet to meet a non-douchebag) I will have to jump off a building. My self esteem and hope are at a dangerous low right now.

I like having the ability to come home to check on cats whenever I feel I need to. That ability will o away once I quit this job.

I think I am going to try to make it to July. Three paycheck would be awesome. Also. I could put my notice in to be done the week of my brother's wedding and then I could have that week off. And that would be convenient.

Ugh. July.

Can I make it.

In other news. My grandfather died on march 19 and nobody called me to tell me. Still. I've been waiting, thinking that surely somebody will call know, once they get past the initial grieving phase. But nobody has called. He had nine children and not one of them has thought to call me yet. I would like to start my life over. I would do oh so many things differently.

That is all.


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