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2011-03-18 - 2:23 p.m.
It gets more and more difficult for me to clean this house...I can't stand it. I've sat around for two straight days now trying to clean and I just can't do it. I get enraged. I get sad. I get frustrated. I am so sick of it. I have to get my life in order, I have to fix this. I either need to not work full time or I need to make more money so I can have a cleaning person. Period. That's it. I've had it. I've let this go for so long now that it will take me about a month of daily cleaning just to get to a comfortable, maintainable spot. There is two year old dust on top of the TV. There has been a pile of laundry on top of the dryer for at least a year that I haven't taken care of. The cupoards and drawers are disgusting. I am horrified. I just have to get back into my skin. I said a couple years ago that I was a shell of myself...and now I am a shell of that shell. I go to work, I take care of the cats and that is all I do. I do not exercise, I do not write, I do not clean, I do not take care of myself. At all. I am destroying my life. I need to get a grip. I need to start doing what I need to do. There is a lot to figure out. |
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