DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2008-07-27 - 12:20 a.m.

I oddly really, really, really, really want to visit (visit being the operative word here) Spain right now.

This is very significant.

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I had a really nice drive home from work tonight. All my favorite music was played on the radio and the air smelled of pine and flowers.

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I am feeling very comfortable lately. I am getting that "home" euphoria again. Which hasn't happened in years. The desire to write again has been strong. Apparently I am not the kind of writer who works best under duress. I have to have everything just so and very familiar.

That said. I still feel like a complete stranger on this side of the state. I have a very strong desire to move back to Kalamazoo. Even though I love (more than I loved Kalamazoo) the town where I am currently living. It's a strange thing.

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I worked at the wine bar tonight. It's really nice to work there every once in a while. They keep hinting that they would like me to come back there to work officially but I think that would be a bad idea. It's like a special treat now, to go in there once or twice every other month or so. Working there on a nightly basis (the cook and the bartender got in a spat this evening) would not be good.

However, I really hate my current "official" job. It is time to leave it but I am too content with my current level of comfortableness. I feel like my genuine being is finally returning to my skin and I don't want to jeopardize it by putting myself through the trauma of change again. You know?

****

That is all.

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