2008-01-30 - 12:01 p.m.

I think my husband needs a vacation away from me. I've been getting the distinct impression lately that he is agitated, beyond belief, with me. Which would be valid as I tend to be rather unlikeable from time to time. Especially in times like this when nothing is concrete and everything is in chaos.

In truth I feel as though I need some pretty severe private time myself. But only because no one will leave me alone to do what I need/want to do right now. I feel obligated to do this and that and go here and there with this person and that (though I'm not actually DOING any of that, I just feel an OBLIGATION to do so) and all I really want to do is be completely silent and listen to classical music while sorting this house out and getting back into my routines of eating and exercising. I also need to find a job. I don't have any trouble sharing my space and time with long as they don't make me feel obligated to do anything but what I am doing or wanting to do. Basically, I don't want to feel like total shit for 24 hours when I bailed early on furniture shopping because I was hungry and annoyed by furniture shopping. (I don't want to be furniture shopping yet, I haven't even unpacked all the furniture we already have) (furthermore...ValueCity furniture, or whatever it is, isn't a place I want to spend more than five minutes in EVER) That's all.

Pretty much I am just more and more certain every day that I would like to spend as little time with other humans as possible. I like to be alone. I don't like explaining to people that I don't want to go to lunch because I have cramps or that I don't want to go to a baby shower because baby showers are fucking stupid. I just want to be alone.

With my husband.

When he likes me.


We had some sort of weather thing last night. Everything froze...including our shutters. So it's kind of dark and weird in here today. And it's too cold for me to go for any lengthy walk today. So I am just sitting here in the weird half light waiting for things to thaw.

I bought some totally awesome dresses yesterday.

That is all.


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