2008-01-10 - 7:14 p.m.


So I am finding that I am actually a nervous wreck about buying that house tomorrow. And I have no idea why. This is exactly where I want to be in my life. Exactly. Maybe that's why I'm nervous? Because I have no more excuses for lack of movement? Or something?

Anyway. Doctor visit today = useless. I was told to take something like allegra or claritin. But I can't take either of those things because they make me weepy and a touch psychotic (true story) in addition to making me completely unable to function. What I really wanted was for someone to drain my frickin ears for me. Because they hurt. I will go back next week. I will get my ears drained damnit.

After the doctor I went to the Y in my new town. I planned to just take a quick tour and decide later whether or not I wanted to join. But the man who took me on a tour was from Kalamazoo and we chatted and chatted and next thing I knew...I was signed up with $56 a month being automatically withdrawn from my account. It's not a bad deal though. I don't regret it even though I didn't look at any other gyms in the area.

So then I came home and went to my current gym (which is just the make do fitness center of this apartment complex) and then came back to the apartment to do my yoga video. But I couldn't find it and I searched and searched and searched and then finally realized that the jackasses who changed out my DVD player on Monday had probably taken it with them. This is the story.

As you know, everything in this apartment keeps breaking. Last week the DVD player broke. So I contacted the leasing company and told them and she said someone from the furniture place would be here on Monday...between 1 and 3. So I waited. And waited and waited. And then it was 3:30 and I was totally pissed off and stormed to the gym and found that the fucking treadmills were both broken so then I was super pissed off and stormed back home to take a shower so I could just go out and do something. So I take a shower and put on my robe and walk downstairs and find two strange men kneeling on my living room floor. At 4:15. They were all apologetic and saying, "we didn't know anyone was here! We rang the doorbell!" And I tried to be nice about it...because I should have known they would be here, even if it was an hour and a half late. I am going to have to say something to the leasing people about the intrusion. Because they have my DVD. Which was a rental. I probably would have checked the machine had they been here between 1 and 3 when I was prepared for them. But being caught basically naked, I was a little distracted and didn't think to check the machine before they left.

Oh anyway...I am so tired today. And I will be tired for a couple more weeks. Tomorrow we are closing on the house and then I go directly to work and Saturday we are driving, early early to Fort Wayne to get my storage stuff and then I have to go to work. Sunday we will be at the new house all day unpacking and bonding, Monday I have to get up early to take cats to the vet and will likely stay the night at the new house that night because our stuff from Spain arrives early Tuesday morning. Tuesday we will spend all day unpacking and supervising (and I have a couple people coming to give me estimates on privacy fencing) and then, if we get everything settled and unpacked, I will retrieve the kitties. Wednesday will be more of the same and I have to work Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday (I only have one pair of work pants!!) and OH! I am going to be so so so so tired by next Sunday. I will sleep ALL DAY. And then start over.

I just got off the phone with my ex boyfriend. He is having some serious problems with his girlfriend. I KNOW I can offer him some advice on how to get this all right with her...but it seems to me like I am doing something wrong when I talk about our (his and mine) relationship. And, in order to give him the advice he needs, I have to bring up our relationship. To tell him how I felt. Because I'm pretty sure that is how his current girlfriend is feeling. But I can't being myself to do it.



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