2007-12-02 - 7:16 p.m.

Okay, so things are a little better. I'm still teetering on emotional edges...but that's kind of to be expected. (thanks to my friend Nicole who laughed at me when I told her I thought I had a mental problem because I thought I was never going to be happy in any situation again. She reminded me that the situations I've been in over the past six years aren't exactly happy/easy situations. And that's true. First I had the long distance romance thing that had my heart breaking for six weeks and then two weeks of sheer chaos and sleep and then six weeks of heart breaking and so on and so forth. And then the moving to Spain thing and then the bankrupt company thing and the loss of all the things that were supposed to make my life "whole" in Spain and then the insecurity that was brought on because of that disaster. And during all that I was dealing with language issues, self issues, independence issues AND trying to keep my poor cat(s) not just alive, but also happy. Then I had the whole moving back here thing to deal with and once I got here I had to get a new car, find a house, a job, learn a new region of Michigan and re-learn how to be an American (which I am already burned out on). And now I have to TALK to people on a daily basis and it's really messing me up. I need a silent day. Anyway, when I think about it this way I can understand why I am an emotional wreck. Not a lot of people could have handled the exact chain of events I've had in the last six years. But I did and I still have a positive outlook on most things. So I should be proud, even when I have frequent meltdowns. So thanks Nicole, for reminding me that I am human.)


Things are better. I love my new job and I have a feeling my two days a week are going to turn into five or six days a week...but that's okay because it's a great place to be. And, at the end of every shift the owner lady makes me taste three (or more) wines so I can know all 80 of them personally. It's fun. Today I have to go in there to take a test on all the wines. I only have to get 80% of them correct, but yesterday everyone was raving about the test results of another new girl who only got 3 wrong. Which means that I have to now get 0 wrong. Because I'm a tad bit competitive about things like that. Because there are about 80 wines and I have to know the grapes used in each wine....I've been spending a lot of time studying in the last 24 hours. I just did a practice test and I got them all right. We'll see if I choke when I have to do this for real. I'm kind of excited.

After I take the test I am going on a search for phyllo dough. Because tomorrow is my birthday and I want baklava but I don't feel like spending my entire day tomorrow driving around looking for it. So I'm going to make my own. I am also going to the bookstore and Whole Foods tomorrow. Then I am spending the rest of the day watching movies with my cats. It should be a perfect day. Except my husband won't be here to buy me a pile of magazines or to make me cake. I'm really hoping that he doesn't send me a cake like he used to. Because back then when he sent me a cake I had people at work to help me eat it. Now it's just me and I've already lost 5 of my Spanish 10 pounds and I'd like to continue to lose, not gain. Which is another reason I'd like to make my own baklava...I can control the butter.

It snowed here last night. I want to go take a walk in it...but taking a walk means I have to drive somewhere first. And I just don't feel like doing that. Anyway, the snow is nice. I love snow. It should always snow.

We still don't have a house and the house I had wanted is now gone. And I am still rather upset about it.'s okay. There will be another house and the next one will maybe be better suited for my cats (the stairs in the house I loved we kind of treacherous and they would have been bad for the kitties, plus, there wasn't any carpet in the house and the cats LOVE carpet) and there were some things about that other house that weren't so suited for Eric and me. The kitchen was weird, there wasn't a fireplace and there was only one bathroom. Plus, it was the top of our price range. And that would have meant that we wouldn't be able to save much money or spend much money. So this is probably for the best.

So that is all. I have to go study more now.


Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

previous - next

Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!