2007-11-25 - 11:55 p.m.

So, what's going on here?

Well, all seven of us are already sick of the apartment and need some air and some space. Today I opened a window and all six cats sat in the two foot by two foot opening for an hour before I finally closed it. And I had to go for a walk but couldn't even think of walking here so I drove 20 minutes to a quieter, less congested area.

This feeling of claustrophobia just amps up the anxiety I have about finding a house. My house finding anxiety is not helped by the certain situation we are in because of a stupid house I have fallen in love with. It's a suspicious situation and I have bad feelings all over the place about what is going on with the Realtors. Normally these suspicions and bad feelings and the chaos that ensues because of whatever is going on with these Realtor people would cause me to write the house off and never even think about it. But I LOVE the house and it is supposed to be mine. So I'm having difficulties being rational about it. I've been to visit the house three times in the past six days. I have a problem. Anyway...I might be forced to stop thinking about it because apparently if Eric and I don't put an offer on it by Monday the sellers are just going to lease it to someone who has already agreed to rent it. And we aren't ready to put the offer in on Monday because I still have six or seven other houses I need to look at and we still aren't done with our two weeks spending record. We have no idea how much it costs to live here and so we (or I) wanted to take a couple weeks to get a feel for what things cost. The fact that my cat's insulin costs $116 here (and $40 in Spain) is a huge deal. Not to mention the fact that we now have a car payment and will have to pay utilities. ANYWAY....I WISH THAT WE HAD TWO WEEKS IN WHICH TO MAKE THIS DECISION. But we don't, we have like 2 hours.

In other news...I applied for that job. My brother and his girlfriend went there for breakfast with me on Friday and I talked to the general manager and she said she would be hiring in December, would I still be interested and I said,"yeah, maybe, probably," and then I got to thinking about it and I need a job NOW, not in December, so I just sent her an e-mail telling her that I would be willing to be trained and just hired as a fill in person. I am hoping that appeals to her. Because I don't want to look any more for a job. I liked that place and I need to start working immediately. I am bored and lonely and need to get into motion.

Thanksgiving was fantastic. It was really exactly what I've have my family here for dinner. I hope my brother and Andrea will come to my house at least every other year (hint hint) even though they don't really celebrate Thanksgiving. I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to come here every year for Thanksgiving when there was such entertainment for them in the form of my mother and younger brother swearing and yelling at the Greenbay-Detroit game for two hours and mother doing the New York City Ballet Workout in the middle of the living room and then the parting words of my baby brother....,"you know, Hitler was kind of kinky, he used to stuff a gun up his mistress's you know what and then masturbate all over it." (in his defense, we were talking about Hitler's deviances...but you still never expect your baby brother to come out with something like that.)

So, that is all. I've had some weird emotional stuff going on...but I'm blaming it all on my coldsore and PMS. Because it's easier that way.


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