DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2007-11-20 - 3:48 a.m.

Today I applied for a job. I am too old to be applying for jobs as a waitress. And this depresses me. For many reasons. One reason being, I LIKE being a waitress and hate that I have to feel that I am too old for it. This all really sucks. I don't want to "grow" up. I don't want a "real" job. I'm totally upset about this.

Anyway...I applied for the stupid job and I was unprepared to fill out the application at the restaurant but the woman who gave me the application kind of pushed me in that direction so I sat there and filled out the application...just like I did when I was sixteen and sitting at the little white plastic table at Frosty Boy. Then the woman asked me to her office and half interviewed me and I rambled on about this and that and it is evident to me that I need to practice talking to people before I go to another job interview (or even go out in public again). Even though I probably came across as someone they might not be interested in having work for them (I think I might have mentioned something about my lack of enthusiasm about returning to work after a three year hiatus)...I'm pretty sure that I will have a job there. Which won't be bad. It's in Ann Arbor and I can get away from Ford Road for a few hours a week and that will be good. Also, the closer I inch towards Ann Arbor the more likely it will be that I will actually sign up for classes and attend them. So I'm pretty much trying to do everything in Ann Arbor, work, doctors, grocery stores...I have to trick myself.

I am going to Kalamazoo tomorrow. I have some insurance crap to take care of and I had intended to see my grandparents but they might be too busy to see me tomorrow. Which is just kind of funny.

My other grandparents wrote me an e-mail the day I arrived in Michigan and said that they were going to be in Barcelona the week of Thanksgiving and wanted me to meet them in the city. That is just about the worst timing I've ever experienced. I really would have loved to spend time with my grandparents in Barcelona.

What else?

I am tired.

Still.

I am still loving living in this apartment but the cats are getting restless already and yesterday I really missed having a yard to sit in. But boy oh boy do I love my garbage disposal, garage and clean (non crumbly Spanish villa) space. Yesterday I cleaned for two hours and the apartment was more than spotless. Cleaning that house in Spain for two hours would result in nothing. It took about three days to clean that house and even then it wasn't clean. It was just a little less dusty.

I am also still really glad to be back here. My schedule is back the way I like it...I'm waking up by 8 and going to bed before 2 am. This makes me happy. I'll be even happier when I get that job and have to be to work by 6:30 am. I really, really miss that. (you think I am joking but I am not.)

I am going to bed now.

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