2007-09-24 - 11:28 p.m.

I get so caught up with details. It's no wonder I can't sleep right now. Lately I've been so so tired and I will happily crawl into bed and read for an hour (which is custom, it is part of my falling asleep routine) and then...I fold the page in my book as soon as my eyes start to shut on their own and I carefully, slowly reach out and gently lay the book on the table (with my eyes still closed) and then I switch the light off and roll onto my right side and at this point I should fall asleep. But lately I've been thinking about the move. I'll start with this....

"okay, so I will get into the taxi with my luggage and Eric and the three cats will follow behind me and we will all meet at the airport and then we will all check in and then they will take the kitties away and I will cry and Eric will have that sad, horrified look on his face and he'll take me away for coffee and croissants (and probably wine) and then I will go through security and get on my plane and I will drink all the way to Amsterdam and then I will get to Amsterdam and have a hell of a layover (because the cats have to have enough time to be inspected and any cage that needs cleaning, cleaned) and then I will get on another plane and hopefully someone will give me a note telling me that all the cats are on board (they said they do that) and then I will drink more wine and watch movies and I will arrive in Detroit and I will get my luggage and the cats and someone will help me wheel it all out and my mother will be there with cat litter and litter boxes and my little brother will be acting like he doesn't care that I've been gone for almost two years but he will be really happy and then....."

And here is where I've been stopping in my little nightly scheduling scenarios. Because...I don't know how I am going to get from the airport to my new apartment. I mean, my mother will be there but one little Chevy isn't going to get me, three pieces of luggage and three cats (and one little brother and one mother) anywhere. So I've been obsessing. Because I don't know ANYONE who can also be there. I mean, I know people that could be there...but they all live so far away that they would have to stay the night and I will tell you right now that after my twenty hour travel day and the stress of what is going on...I am going to want to be utterly alone as soon as possible. So. My mother understands this...but I can't really think of anyone else who would.

So. It's taken me a few days to get past this point in my thinking. Finally, last night, I let it go. I just figure that somehow I can get it all figured out. So I take up the planning from the "we all leave the airport in cars" point.

"We all leave the airport and drive to the new apartment and then..."

And ugh. I have to stop again because wait...I won't be arriving until late in the evening. And the leasing office won't be open so how am I supposed to get my key?

So I spend the rest of the night obsessing about that.

This morning I wrote an e-mail to the apartment lady and she wrote back and told me that once the deposit is in she will send me a code for a lockbox and so I can get into the apartment at any hour that I arrive. Thank goodness for corporate rentals.

So tonight I can pick up in my thinking with the "I get into the apartment" part and then I can start obsessing about how I will my car (that Eric is going buy next week) from Muskegon to Detroit and how I will get to the grocery store on arrival day and who's going to get my Organic Love Buzz coffee from Sawall's to me?

Because I'm really bonkers.


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