2007-07-16 - 12:20 p.m.


Time is flying. Flying. Flying. It is so hard to believe that I only have a couple months left here. I mean, either decision that is made, Germany or U.S. of A, we are going to be leaving here very soon. I am euphoric still about that...but totally freaked out about leaving this house. I am waking up every morning now thinking about how strange it is that I won't always be waking up in this house. Boo hoo boo hoo. Fortunately I am an optimist (you didn't know that did you?) and I know that I will once again live in a house that I adore. I've adored all houses, great and small, that I've lived in for any length of time. So I just keep reminding myself that at some point I am going to have an adored house AND I will be living in a country more conducive to being Whisper.

So our time is drawing to an end here and in typical fashion, all our friends are suddenly demanding our time in large quantities. I think they are going to miss us. This weekend was filled with friends who for once took us up on our standing invitation for a pool day. It's going to be a busy couple of months. Especially if we chose to go back to the United States. I imagine every friend we have in Europe will come around to say goodbye. It's going to be sad.

And, it does look like the United States is where we are going. But wait...maybe not. Last week Eric was finally given the proposal for the job in Germany and after a week of number crunching and hypotheticals...the amount of money the offered would be $1000 less a month than he (we) are now living on. And we are already having financial strains with his current pay. So taking a pay cut isn't really an option. Every one likes to remind Eric that if he takes this job in Germany for a couple years, he will be advancing his career and that is worth a pay cut...but, you know, Eric has been in Europe for SEVEN YEARS now and that was the plan at the beginning for him...go to France and advance the career (while living it up). Same thing with Spain. And then the company sold him. So much for doing things to advance the career. ANYWAY........blah blah blah.

So today Eric is flying back to Germany (this has become a weekly thing) to tell them that he can't accept the offer and that we are returning to the United States.

However. He is also spending this afternoon looking at houses in Germany.

Because there is a chance that they are going to offer him more money. In which case we have no reason to say no.


And of course I still have no idea how I really feel about all of this. All I know is that I am so ready for this to be done. For two years now I have in this exact same state. Remember? Six months after I arrived here I thought we were being sent back to the U.S. immediately? Remember how that Christmas we were surprised we were still here and we really did it up for Christmas because it was going to be our one and only Christmas in Spain? And then the next year we were still here? I wonder if things would have been better for me if I hadn't of thought this whole time that this was going to be my last month here?


So that is all.

I am going back to the vet today. Of course. My life has turned into a veterinary clinic. Last week I had three cats on antibiotics twice a day in addition to the usual glucose testing and insulin shots for Oscar. I really think I might as well just suck it up and become a veterinarian. I would save myself a whole lot of money and if I'm going to spend all of my time giving shots to cats anyway...

On Wednesday Eric and I are driving (probably) to Carcassonne for the night. And then back here on Thursday making a stop on the way at the French grocery stores. Then on Friday I am spending the entire day quiet because this weekend is that godforsaken festa major in my village and that means from Saturday at noon until Sunday evening there is going to be non-stop noise and chaos here. That means big explosions on Saturday afternoon, a parade and then they will set up the band in front of our front door and they will play until 2 in the morning and then the discomobil pulls in and the all night disco goes until dawn. Under my bedroom window. The all night disco crap happens under my bedroom window. Erg.





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