2007-06-28 - 12:31 p.m.

Here are some of the strange things that I have been experiencing lately.

Number one and the most important. I may have already mentioned it in the previous month but I am too lazy to check back and see. But I will repeat it because I can. And because I have a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of me and there is an absolutely perfect breeze coming through the window and it's just nice to be sitting here. Anyway. A while ago I was sleeping and I can't remember what woke me, but I woke knowing that something had shaken my sleep awake and then I looked at the clock in triumph and said, "Aha!! I knew it!! It's 1:39!" and then I looked at my Fishy Cat (who sleeps next to me every night) and her eyes were glowing red. (Just like in that stupid clown picture when I was a kid.) I stared at her and at about that time I told myself that I was still dreaming, or at least awake and part of my brain was still stuck in dream, and to shake it off. So I closed my eyes and literally shook it off and when I opened my eyes Fishy's eyes were no longer glowing. So I went back to bed.

So. The other night I slept in one of the guest rooms because when I had come upstairs to bed I found Eric fast asleep on the control to the air conditioner and it was melting hot in the bedroom and I didn't want to wake him up because he had come home pretty stressed out that evening and the best thing in the world for him to do was sleep. So I slept in the guest room where I could at least open the window (our bedroom doesn't have an open-able window, which is ridiculous. Also, the half of the house where our bedroom is located is really old and has no insulation. So our bedroom suite and the two rooms below our bedroom get REALLY hot in the summer and REALLY cold in the winter. But that's another story....) So, I went to the guest room and read for a couple hours and finally fell asleep sometime around 4. Then, just as with the glowing eyed Fishy night, I woke knowing that something had woken me but I didn't know what. And when I opened my eyes and focused on the room, I saw a flashing blue light on the wall, which maybe wouldn't be so strange except that the flashing light started to stretch out into a misty light and it stopped flashing and then it collected itself into a solid mass and started flashing again. At this point I turned the light on in the room. Then I went back to bed.

In addition to these two "things" with light...lately, every time I wake up I see a flash of white light. Like a lightning bolt.

This all leads me to believe that I have a brain tumor.

I've been having a lot of nightmares lately in which I am bleeding to death. Last night I was bleeding to death from my teeth. A few nights ago my teeth were falling out in my dreams. I don't recall ever having the common dream in which teeth fall out. Until now.

My other nightmares have been about my cat, Oscar. They have been very disturbing and I am going to take him to the vet for a full check up even though doing that would make me kind of insane. It's just that in the nightmares I am having about him he dies from something I should have been aware of and that I missed because I wasn't paying enough attention. So maybe my subconscious mind is trying to get me to notice something.

Another strange thing that has been happening to me is this. Almost every day I make toast and I think to myself, "damn, I don't have any raspberry jam," and then I write raspberry jam on my grocery list. Then I go to the store and laugh at myself as I am gathering my things to go about how I have forgotten the raspberry jam for something like three weeks now. So I will go to the store, do my shopping, check my list before I check out and then I get home and realize that I have no raspberry jam. I cannot figure out how this keeps happening.

That is all.


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