2007-04-27 - 2:25 p.m.

We are probably moving home. (To Michigan) By Fall. Which was kind of my plan anyway. But it still kind of hurts to think about it. I'm not ready to leave Europe yet. Ready to leave Spain, yes indeed, but not the continent. I wasn't going to say anything about it until we were certain, but I am finding that I am just wandering around the house talking to myself way too much today. So that must mean that I need to talk about it. (and we aren't fact, we are so uncertain that we are flying to Germany in the next days so I can determine whether I would like to live there, because that is the other option, Germany. I will not make the same mistake that I made when we decided to move here. That mistake was agreeing without seeing. I honestly think that if I had visited Spain before making a decision, I would have not chosen to live here. I will not go into details about why I am certain of that but let's just say that I remember vividly, the smile slowly slipping away as we drove into Barcelona that first time. I remember thinking, "uh-oh.")

Anyway...the interesting thing about this almost certainty that we are moving home is that I am suddenly liberated to use things that I've been hoarding. Like Burt's Bees lotion, A-1 steak-sauce and Yankee Candles. It's fun. I slathered lotion on today rather than dabbing.

Also, last night I had a dream about (one of) my high school boyfriend(s). He sent me a card with all sorts of pictures in it and the pictures were all of our (his and mine) past. And the weird thing was that I think that the pictures truly were pictures from reality...only, no one took pictures. There was a picture of the two of us sitting in his red truck with a 2 liter Mountain Dew bottle between us (filled with jungle juice) at Homecoming Float building and there was a picture of the two of us sitting on a gray Monte Carlo in the high school parking lot after a dance. Both of those things happened...but why I should put those images in a dream and as pictures? So strange. Anyway, the last time I had a dream about this guy he sent me an e-mail out of no where (through and totally freaked me out. I hadn't talked to him in ten years. I mean, it REALLY freaked me out when he sent that e-mail, because I got it that very morning that I woke up from that other dream of him.

My mother used to release the goats when he would pick me up for school. Because she hated him and the goats would chase him up the tree by our door.


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