2007-04-10 - 2:46 p.m.

Today I am annoyed.

The kind of annoyed that is going to turn into full fledged anger in about five seconds.

Why am I annoyed? Oh, the same old. This whole fucking situation that I landed in two years ago is getting really fucking old. I can't believe that it has now been eighteen months since I first started saying, "we should know something more in a few weeks." Seriously. This is all bullshit.

Right now I am just stewing over the fact that everything that I/we was/were supposed to have in place upon arriving here has never once been in place. There are reasons things like that are put in place for the spouses of expats. Reasons like...hmmm...keeping the sanity and morale of the spouse at sufficient levels for survival.

I am also stewing about the fact that I have no one to talk to about any of this. Every time I start to talk to one of my friends about it they say, "yeah, but you get to live in Spain." If I ever hear that again I am liable to rip a throat out. I am aware of that propensity so I just no longer attempt to talk to people about this.

Yes, I "get to" live in Spain. And let me tell you that after the whole romantic fantasy of living in a foreign country wears off (at about the seven month marker) you are just left living in a place that is exactly the same as any other place you might ever live except you have to deal with a siesta, numerous holidays, whores all over the place and everyone driving like a fucking maniac. And you can't get decent Chinese takeout. Oh, and you have to learn a different language. (which should be a good thing but when you are disgruntled as I have been...learning another language just seems like the icing on the worst cake you've ever been forced to eat.)

Anyway. I want out of here so badly. Or, I want things put in place. One of the two. I can't go on like this. I really don't think I can last another month like this. Really. I am so tired of it.


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