2007-03-10 - 12:44 p.m.

It is so windy today I am not even sure I am still on Earth. It feels like alien wind. My cats are all hiding under the bed and I keep hitting the floor every three seconds because it truly sounds like every window in the house is going to shatter. In the midst of all my hitting the floor (and searching for a helmet, that would help) I am carting everything that needs airing outside. Our smokey winter coats were first. Now I am trying to come up with other things that need a good wind lashing. If I had help I would be hauling mattresses out there. But alas, I am solitary this weekend. Blah.

(here's where I talk about menstrual cramps)

Last night I was destroyed by a bout of evil devil cramps. It's been about eight months since I have had to deal with the evil devil cramps. Lately they have just been devil cramps, slightly tinged with evil and only mildly life destroying. But last night...if I had been in the U.S. I would have gone to the emergency room. No question. I know there is something wrong and instead of just being handed a bottle of pills this time when I talk about it to the doctor, I would like to know what is wrong. I don't want to take pills. I want to not have the pain. Which means I need to take the problem away. I am tired of having my life ruined every month. Seriously. When you find yourself having to run from the dinner table in the middle of the second course in a castle in France because tears are streaming down your face from pain...that's not good. That is life ruining. If you have never had the kind of cramps I am talking about you probably think I am just a wimp...I know. Because from 1993 until 2001 I didn't have terrible, life ruining cramps and after a couple years I forgot how truly terrible they are and I was the first to give the "wimp" look to any woman writhing around in agony because of menstrual cramps. But then they came back and I quickly remembered that yes, there are levels of pain no one can imagine. I am curious to give birth (THOUGH I AM NOT GOING TO) because I think there is a real possibility that I might be one of those women who says, "I have had menstrual cramps far worse than that."

Anyway. This morning I feel a bit better though I think that after I get all the things outside that need air I will return to bed and stay there until tomorrow.


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