DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2007-01-12 - 10:44 a.m.

Seriously. I am starting to get scared of what's going on here.

You know. Cat comas, cats getting stuck in engines...that sort of thing. And, we are tired around here. Like really, really tired. So Wednesday we go to the gym and then come home and go to bed. And around 3 am we hear a loud crash and we both jump up and can't figure out where the crash came from until I see Smudge zoom by me in a fit or terror. And I grab him and he stinks and I'm like, "what the fuck is going on here?" and I figure out that he must have pooped and got a cling on and freaked out and jumped out of the litter box (making it crash against the ground) and now he was running around trying to shake the cling on off. Smudge freaks out if there is something on him. So...I finally wrangle him and get him in the shower and rinse his cat ass and then...he is happy and calm. We go back to bed sometime around 5 am.

I figure that nothing else can possibly go wrong in my cat world.

I actually thought that outloud yesterday.

So yesterday I cleaned all day in preparation for guests. And then we went to the gym when Eric got home and I announced that I was going to bed immediately upon our return home. We get home, I put my hair up in a stupid bun in order to wash my face and I take my shoes off. And then...Smudge starts choking and he's leaving these long, foamy strings of mucus behind him and he's not breathing and Eric is on the phone with the vet and we all jump in the car and on the way Smudge pees on me and he's still choking and not breathing and we get to the vet, I'm shoeless with a stupid bun on top of my head and...he stops choking.

An x-ray reveals...NOTHING.

But he did choke. I swear. It was scary enough choking that Eric was in a panic about it. And he isn't the panicker around here.

Whatever this is that's going on here with my cats HAS GOT TO STOP. Take me instead. Leave my cats out of it. I will stop my hating on Spain...I will. I'll do whatever I need to do. I'll even eat Spain's nasty, unsalted butter on my toast and not complain once about it. JUST LEAVE MY CATS THE FUCK ALONE.

I am very busy today. Leave me alone.

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