2006-12-19 - 4:21 p.m.

Gah. For the last few days I've been in a pit again. I know what is going on in my head...I know exactly why I am in a pit and I know how to get out of it. But...knowing these things isn't always the key out, you know? So for the last couple days I've been pretty much doing nothing but sitting in the bath and sleeping. Because those are the two things I do when I need to think. And in between sleeping and bathing I've been trying to write all this stuff down. To get it out and organized and visible. I'm all fucked up in the head right now. Things are skewed. It's like when your body needs vitamin C and that need is manifested as a craving for orange soda. Or something like that. I've been writing and getting frustrated because I just cannot get it right...I can't explain it just right and until I do, well, I won't be able to start climbing out of the pit. So there I was, sitting in the bathtub at 3 in the afternoon after having only been out of bed for two hours and I am reading my "The Handy Physics Answer Book" (which I had pulled off the shelves last week so I could read about black holes during a three day panic attack I was having about what would happen if we were sucked into, or were going to be sucked into one.) and I come across this little gem, "Give me a firm spot on which to stand and I will move the Earth." -Archimedes

And that is exactly what I've been trying to say.



Crawling out of pit now.


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