DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2006-09-26 - 1:23 p.m.

Crap.

I have to go to the doctor in Spain.

And, you know, I have one of those feelings that the news is not going to be good. I mean, obviously it's not going to be good because I am sick. If I weren't sick I wouldn't be going to the doctor. But I just have this feeling that it's not something cut and dry simple. (Maybe I just feel that way because nothing since moving here has been cut and dry simple...nothing, not even renting movies.)

I can't stand it when I am sick. I can't focus on anything unless it's the TV. Yesterday I watched FIVE movies. (sleeping through two of them) I would watch more movies today but I have already gone through all the movies they have available here. (which isn't saying much)

Anyway...I am very depressed. I could sit here all day and write about how depressed I am and the why's of it and so on and so forth. But I know, in my poor sick heart, that I am just depressed because I am sick. I get very emotional when I am sick. So it's best to just shut up.

I don't want to go to the doctor in Spain. I would rather get on an airplane and go to a doctor in the United States. THAT'S how much I don't want to go to the doctor in Spain...I would get on an AIRPLANE for fifteen hours. But that would just be dumb. And a huge waste of money.

I don't want to talk about it.

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