2006-09-25 - 11:06 a.m.




I've been having mean thoughts about people lately and it's beginning to disturb me. I used to be very nice...I mean, I disliked people here and there but I was still always able to not think terrible, mean thoughts about them. Lately I have little tolerence for people. I think that living here in Spain has been very very very bad for me. In many ways, but mostly because it has made me even more of a hermit than I already was. It's not good for someone like me to live in a foreign country. Especially when the foreign country they end up living in turns out to be a giant clusterfuck of clusterfuckedness. I am very unwilling to leave the house lately.

Oh anyway.


Squishy Cat, at this moment, is back at the vet. Today he is getting Interfeon injections as well as finally getting x-rays of his mouth and a mouth swab that they are sending off to some lab in the UK. This is all very disturbing...the fact that these mouth sores will not go away and we had his teeth pulled for nothing.


Last week our washing machine broke. It gave no warning like the dryer just stopped draining the water. I spent all day on Wednesday trying to fix it. I was very much on edge and I have to admit that if I had $10,000 or more for a down payment on a house...I would have been on an airplane back to the U.S. I've been having that feeling more and more lately. If I had anything at all I would go back to the U.S. and start this over again. Eric could get an apartment here until he was able to come back with me (and it's likely he could probably go back just as quickly as I could) and I think we would all be better off if we just got the hell out of here. NOTHING goes right here. NOTHING. It's really bad. Really bad.

So yeah, the washing machine broke, I spent all day trying to fix it and then on Thursday I spent all day manually draining the machine every time it needed it and I somehow managed to get five loads of wash done. Which had to be done because we had a guest this weekend and he needed sheets and blankets and I always wash the couch covers before we have guests just in case they are allergic to cats because you know, the cats LIVE on the couches. Thursday night Eric and I went to Carrefour and bought a new washer and dryer and immediately submitted the expense to crappy company Eric works for even though we hadn't received the okay to buy a washing machine. We HAD received an okay for the dryer but we were waiting to buy a new one until they had reimbursed us for other expenses...because it's not cool to have thousands of dollars of your own money out at once. (When the dryer broke last spring the H.R. woman that used to handle our case told us that they (crappy company) wouldn't pay for new ones because they had already bought THAT set and it says in the expat policy that the expat is responsible for repairs...but the thing was that when we moved here to Spain it was a NEW assignment for Eric and he actually told them at that time that he would just use his French appliances in order to save the company money even though we would have been entitled to new. So that H.R. woman is gone now and we have a new one and SHE said okay to a new dryer so it's obvious that the old H.R. woman is just a total bitch and she screwed us out of AT LEAST fifteen grand. Total bitch whore. Hate her.) I have a brand new washer and dryer and I hardly know how to handle it. I haven't had a functional dryer in about two years. So it's weird. Remember those last months in my old house in Vicksburg when I was drying my clothes in the oven? That was funny. (not)

I leave for Italy on Saturday morning. I must be totally freaked out because right now I am in that mode where I can barely get off the couch. I know I am totally shutting my brain down in avoidance when I do that.

LAST SATURDAY (two days ago) I got sick. I thought for sure I was dying. Friday night I woke up at 4 am and my whole body itched. It felt like when you get a mosquito bite on your foot...except every inch of my skin felt like that. For something like two hours I scratched myself silly adn finally ended up taking a bath and smearing cortaid (precious Cortaid) all over myself. I found three bites on my arm that were all welted but otherwise...there was no reason for me to be itchy all over. When I woke up Saturday I felt terrible. I was tired and groggy and weird feeling. Our new washer and dryer arrived and I did load after load of wash (I ended up having to redo most of the wash I had done on Thursday because it wouldn't dry on the line due to the rain we've been getting and the general soggyness of this region at present) and then I took a bath and started get ready to go out. By this time I was feeling really odd. I didn't feel like I was in my skin at all. I almost didn't go out and I shouldn't have gone...but I was somehow talked into it. I had a glass of wine, or two, at dinner and it made me dizzy and then we went out to El Gato Felix (a stupid bar that I hate) and I had a beer but didn't drink very much of it at all and then we came home. Eric and Russ were on the couch talking and I went upstairs because I was feeling all shaky and weird and I got all pissed off because I had tried to say something about the alarm and no one listened to I took a bath, got into bed and fell asleep. An hour later I woke up and my teeth were chattering and I poured another bath and got in until I wasn't so cold and I went downstairs to get Eric and he came upstairs and took my temperature and cuddled against me to keep me warm and I cried and cried and cried. Like I do every time I get a fever. Finally, I took some ibuprofen and it helped the aches and I fell asleep. When I woke up my fever was gone and I still felt like crap. Had to take Eric to the airport and then I got home with some movies and curled up on the couch where I planned to stay for the rest of the night and then Eric called and told me to come and pick him up because his flight had been cancelled and so I peeled myself off the couch and went to get him and then I spent the rest of the night on the couch watching stupid tv shows and then I went to bed at 10 and got up this morning to take Eric back to the airport and then Squishy Cat to the vet. Then I went to a grocery store I have never been to because the woman that cuts Eric hair told him that they had a good selection of herbs (which they don't)...but they did have a good selection of other stuff. So that is cool. Now I am just sitting here wasting time until I can go back to the vet to get my cat.

Then I am sitting on the couch for the rest of the day.

That is all.


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