2006-06-24 - 11:10 a.m.

My body, in the last year, seemed to forget whose body it was. I've felt alien within my own skin. It wasn't anything drastic really, but my body did not feel like mine. There was a certain heaviness that I was not accustomed to. Not a physical heaviness per se (though I have gained at least five pounds since arriving here and at one point it was at least ten pounds)...but a certain heaviness of limbs and skin. Typically I feel that in the summer months and so I attributed it to the fact that here in Spain we do not see winter.

However, I was wrong. While Amy was here we did a lot of walking. I did not go to the gym or do my other exercises and I ate a ton more than usual. In theory I should feel heavier than ever right now. But I don't, in fact, I feel exactly like myself again. It's from the walking. Walking was a constant in my life former. I walked all day at work and five days out of seven I would take an hour long walk once I got home from work. Here...yes, I walk a lot, there is a lot of walking involved when living in Europe...and it isn't as though I sit on my ass all day long, I am usually in constant motion. But it's different, I guess, than keeping your legs moving in walk motion for long periods of time. This is yet another reason that when I sign up for my next round of language classes they should be in Barcelona. Since there is just one train stop that I am comfortable with (at this point) it is likely that I will have to walk a certain distance to my classes. And that would be good. I cannot say that I am going to start taking a regular hour long walk every day though...because it's just too hot here right now...actually, it has more to do with the sunshine fucking blares. I really miss clouds. REALLY miss clouds. Anyway, welcome back body of mine. I certainly missed you.

Speaking of sunshine...we have this lawn issue. Last year we stubbornly refused to water it because Spain was in the midst of the worst drought in 120 years. So the lawn died. It would have recovered itself had October not brought with it oceans of tormented rain. It's not rain like I is rain that appears to be pouring from a very large faucet. There are no rain drops involved. It's a rain stream. This caused the yard to flood completely and drowned the grass that would have recovered. SO...all winter and spring we've been in a sort of panic about the grass. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to grow grass (we've spent a lot of money in grass seed, it's very expensive here for some reason) and now, in the last two weeks I have decided TO HELL WITH THE WATER SHORTAGE!! And I've basically had the water on all day long. I leave the hose running and the water drenches spots and holy's working...I have an almost full green lawn now. By next week I should be able to be at maintenance only with the lawn. I wouldn't be all TO HELL WITH THE WATER SHORTAGE except that last year I noticed that the one spot where I sometimes left the hose running for a while (after watering my plants and wandering around for a minute before making my way back to turn the hose off)remained green throughout the summer and when the rains came it did not die even though it was flooded. Healthy grass is very resilient. So I need healthy grass all over before the bad weather (the heat and utter dryness of July adn August and the rains of October)hits. It's all very exciting.

Last night I started work on my novel. Again. This is my fifth start to this particular one. I find that I still, after one year, do not know exactly how to live with someone. I cannot, no matter how much I want to or try to, write when Eric is here. There is no reason for this because really, he isn't even home most of the time. I don't know what my problem is. And it isn't like he disrupts me when I am writing or anything like that...I just don't get it. Even my diaryland entries are more prolific when Eric is away. I have to figure out how to do to live with someone and still write. It can't be that difficult.

Tune in later when I talk about Catalunia...and how Catalan is now the official language here. We are no longer living in Spain, we are living in Catalunia. Also, I will be speaking about abortion and how the show Sex and the City is so well done.

But for now...I am going back to my grass watering and the pool. I have no business being in the sun again...I am toasty tan and damn, I am getting too old to lay in the sun. But oh how I love pool days.



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