2006-04-29 - 12:19 a.m.

We've been bitching about this whole Spain situation since we arrived here. And that's not to say we didn't have reason to either. I mean, it was just one thing on top of another thing...nothing was ever in a comfortable spot for long enough for either of us to sit back and enjoy a moment. Little bombs, over time, can create a lot more damage than one big bomb. You know?

I'm not saying that Spain, even if we had landed here on good feet, would ever be a place where I would fall in love with anything...yes, I love this house, I love everything about this house. I hug the palm tree daily...I love that palm tree. But you know, there are houses elsewhere, this house could be in Michigan and I could have a big oak tree.


I just wonder what would happen if we stopped bitching about it here for a moment.

My brother's girlfriend is probably the most positive person I have ever met. Instead of complaining about something she will say something nice. And there IS always something nice to say about things. Being the cynical old bitch that I am, the first time I spent any amount of time with her, my brother's girlfriend, I was a little...well, I don't have a word...but I couldn't believe that anyone could be so postive without just being fake. I thought that it was totally unhealthy for someone to not say something bad here and there. To just throw down and say, "Fuck! This sucks ass!" But you know, thinking about it...she's awesome. When I had just thrown in the towel with the whole fix up the house and sell it for monster money idea my house was utterly destroyed. I mean...BAD. Looking back I can't even believe I lived in it for the last year. But she comes in there to pick up my brother once and he and I are sitting in rubble and dust and peeling paint and no floors, sheets hung on the windows...hell...and she sits back and says, "This house has some really awesome structures, I love that arch." And she started listing the possibilities and she was the ONLY person who had anything nice/positive to say about it. Everyone else was like, "You'll never sell it." I think, if it hadn't been for her, I would have sold it for far less than I had. She reminded me that it DID have possibilities and honestly, they weren't far off, it just needed some work. So I sold it, probably for less than I could have gotten but not so much less. Before she came along I had been listening too long to everyone else and I was going to list it at FORTY THOUSAND. (I sold it for 55)

And then, when they were here, I was all nervous in the car on the way to Paris, and especially on the way back. Thinking they must be hating me for dragging them on a 12 hour trip and blah blah blah...but still, they were always all smiles and saying shit like, "We get to see so much more this way." Which is true. But some people would just complain about the car ride.

Anyway...all I'm saying is that I have been trying a different approach lately. I'm not complaining...instead I am saying something good. It's hard to enjoy something when someone else in your world complains about it. It's easy to enjoy something when someone in your world is enjoying it too. La Cantina pizza was never the same for me after my ex boyfriend and I broke up. And La Cantina pizza ruled my world for five (or was it six?) years. My mouth would start watering on Thursday and I would think about it every second until Sunday when we had it. It was so much better because Jon enjoyed it so much. That first La Cantina pizza I got after we broke up tasted kinda bad. It made me rather ill.

So that's all.

Today I swam in the pool for the first time this year. It was fantastic. I didn't mean to go swimming but there was a bee stuck out in the middle that needed to be rescued. Then I stayed in there for another hour. It was quite refreshing.

Also, I got a tan.

And Squishy Cat...who hasn't been quite right since December...was just running like a holy terror around the house chasing after a fly. Just like he used to do. Then he attacked the rug, just like he used to do. And seriously, nothing could make me feel better than that. I swear, when I saw him chasing that fly I let out such a sigh of felt like I hadn't been breathing since December.

Sleep now. Husband comes home tomorrow. We might go to Tarragona this weekend. That would be good. We need to see Spain. (Okay, so Tarragona is half an hour away...but we haven't been there yet so shut up.)


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