2006-04-18 - 7:51 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I felt icky. All day. From too much alcohol. I am sick of alcohol. Yesterday I poured a silly glass of wine for myself because I didn't want to waste the rest of the bottle (we failed to finish it the night before when our guests were still here) and I was immediately sick after one sip. Needless to say, the rest of the bottle was indeed wasted. I spent the rest of the evening on the couch trying to put various foodstuffs into my mouth that would help me not feel icky. The potato chips were not a good idea.

ANYWAY...all this excess of late has made it necessary for me to put myself on some restrictions. Potato chips are OUT. I am in punishment mode now with the potato chips. And my husband is also in punishment mode for bringing home four bags of the evil things last week. ARGH!! I cannot have potato chips for six months now. I ate THAT many.

Also, cookies are out.

Ice cream is still in, but only if I go to the gym three times a week and take many walks. I should only be able to have ice cream if I WALK from one end of the beach to the other to get my ice cream. Yes. That is the new deal.

As for the alcohol...we are going back to only on the weekends. And I will give myself four free drinks a month that I can use at any time. That will take care of the various social events that may occur during the week. Or just for a night when I need a fucking pint of beer. And no more getting drunk. I've been drunk twice in the last month. I don't normally let myself get drunk. Just a little off the planet like. But I was drunk twice. Once in Paris and once the other night when I decided I was either going to get drunk or I was going to jump off the roof from sadness.

The sadness thing is none of your business. It is my own thing.

I am getting my hair cut on Friday. I am nervous.

I've also decided that even though I have no idea what is going on in terms of my husband's job and the duration of our life in Spain...I am going to take language classes IN BARCELONA. No more of this taking language classes in Sitges because it's close...I need to get out there. I need to take the train to Barcelona every day and get out there. Also, it would be nice to be able to talk. So that I don't need to be nervous about stupid things like getting my hair cut. Plus, I am getting fat. I need to walk around more.

Squishy Cat is eating again. Like crazy. In fact, he seems better (healthwise) than he did before all this crap happened. It's weird. It's like he needed a few days of shut down or something. I am still watching him like a hawk though.

I took a nice bath today. With peppermint soap.

I also cut my fingernails and that is why I am writing this very stupid entry. Because it feels so good to type right after cutting fingernails. It's like magic. I can type very fast. You wouldn't know that about me because I can only type really fast when I am alone. I can type moderately fast when Eric is in the room. But I cannot type at all when other people are in the room. So if you have ever seen me type you think I suck. In high school I was the second fastest typer in my typing class. The fastest guy sat next to me, Mike. He was my friend. Anyway, it was funny that I was the 2nd fastest typer because I couldn't type without looking at my hands. I didn't learn to type without looking at my hands until very recently. Within the last five years. But I've always been a fast typer regardless.

That's all. I am going to make tea now. Tea is in.


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